


Shock Value

by kinkyheels (MorrPhyc)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: BAMF Jensen Ackles, Fake Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Serial Killer Jensen, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:09:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2277891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorrPhyc/pseuds/kinkyheels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When technology, revenge and Jensen's hobby as a serial killer come together, the secrets may be too much for Jared and Jensen’s relationship to survive…even if it is a fake marriage that got its start due to too much whiskey and an ad for a husband on Craigslist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shock Value

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/16069/16069_original.jpg)

[Art Masterpost](http://sau1412.livejournal.com/12163.html)

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/17870/17870_original.jpg)   


 

Jensen checks his watch, waiting. The darkened image on his screen is lit only by the moonlight filtering through the open blinds. He can barely make out the grainy shape of the doorway but no matter how hard he stares, no one walks through it.

"Come on," he mutters. He has to be at his parent's house in less than an hour. These things always come down to the wire but tonight he's starting to worry. He won't have a second chance. Jason is leaving the country in three days. He can't afford for anything to go wrong.

His eyes never leave the screen while his hand reaches out and snags his cell phone. "Call Chris," he says clearly and the phone responds, connecting the call immediately.

_"Jennyboy, you best not be trying to get outta going tonight. I already put on a fuckin' jacket."_

Jensen snorts. Only his mother could get Chris out of his ratty tees and jeans. "No, man. I'm still waiting. You said he'd be home fifteen minutes ago. All I see is a dark office. My window of opportunity is getting short. You know the program takes a full minute to load. I've already uploaded the destruct file and it's only got six minutes left before it erases everything on that computer. If that happens I can't get back in for days and he'll be gone by then." The destruct file was a backup. Deleting everything in case things didn't go the way he planned. There weren't even ghost images left for anyone to trace.

He hears Chris shuffling around. _"Hang on, brother, I got GPS on the fucker's car, pulling it up now."_

Jensen's eyebrows shoot straight up. "The hell, dude? You tagged his car?"

_Yeah. And you can untwist your panties. Car just pulled up at his place. Should see him in a few. And don't worry, Danni's already on the way over to pull the tag."_

Jensen breathes a sigh of relief and sits up straighter as the glow of electric lights start filling up his screen. "Got him. Later," he says and hangs up before Chris can bitch about him being late tonight. "Now," he adds to himself as his hands fly over the keys, "let's see just how fast I can be."

He inputs the commands and a flash appears briefly on his screen. "Forty-eight seconds, not bad, not bad." Now all he has to do is wait for Jason Walston to sit at his computer and logon. He runs a hand through his cropped blond hair eager to get this done.

Jensen's pulse kicks up when the lights in the room come on. He watches Jason slide his jacket and tie off before leaning over his desk and booting up his computer. Jensen's screen is suddenly filled with Jason's image as he sits in front of his own computer. The man is young, nice looking but his blue eyes are icy. 

Jensen leans into the screen and a slow smile pulls across his face.

"Gotcha," he whispers and he touches the pad of his right index finger to the 'k' key. The final command is sent and the result is instant. Jason's body tenses, his blue eyes roll back in his head. He gasps and twitches as his hands reach wildly along the desk. He slides to the floor and Jensen switches from web cam to access the home security monitors. He zooms in, watching as Jason tries to crawl towards the door. He never makes it. Jensen watches, triumphant, as the man finally stills, eyes wide, mouth open. It only took thirty seconds for him to die.

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/16675/16675_original.jpg)   


Jensen smirks, quickly closing down the connection and pulling the flash drive out of his computer. He needs to put it back in the safe but that'll have to wait. For now, he thrusts it in his pocket and grabs his jacket on his way out the door. Today is his twenty-fifth birthday and the party is at his parent's house and his mom hates it when he's late.

Jensen wakes up being strangled by his own tie, with his face smashed into a couch cushion; Chris' socked feet are wedged under his arm and Danneel is asleep on his back. "Ah, fuck." His head is spinning, his mouth tastes like a urinal and something, somewhere is buzzing non-stop.

Danneel slaps him hard across the shoulder. "Jesus, fuck, Jensen, answer that fucking phone before I strangle you with my bra."

"Ow, bitch. And get the hell off me."

Before he can even finish she's rolling into the back of the couch and shoving him over Chris' legs. He doesn't even have a chance to get his hands moving as he lands on the hardwood floor face first. 

He lays there stunned for a second. Then the buzzing starts again. "Goddammit," he says, blindly reaching up for the buzzing phone sitting on the coffee table by his head.

It takes him a few tries before he's able to drag and drop it onto the floor next to his face. The buzzing stops briefly, only to start again. He rips his tie off and takes a deep breath. No good day can ever start this way, so he's not hopeful. The buzzing starts again. 

Jensen pulls the phone close but without his glasses, the screen is blurry. The only thing he can easily tell is that no one is calling, he's getting email notifications. He rises up on his elbows and rubs his temple, willing away the throbbing. He squints at his phone and he manages to see that he has 192 emails. 

"What the hell," he mutters, "can't be seeing that right," he adds, forcing himself to sit up. Jensen looks around but can't see his damn glasses anywhere. He figures misery should be shared, he reaches up and behind him until he feels the soft flesh of Chris' stomach, pinches _hard_ and moves out of the way as quickly as his sluggish body will let him.

The reaction is immediate. Chris jerks away, crashing back into Danneel who screams as he smashes her into the back of the couch. She kicks him hard in response sending Chris tumbling to join Jensen on the floor.

Jensen grins down at him. "Morning."

Chris groans and rolls over. "Prick."

Jensen's phone starts buzzing again. "Fuck, help me find my damn glasses so I can see what the hell these emails are about."

Chris doesn't have a chance to move before Danneel is snatching Jensen's phone out of his hands.

"Danni," Jensen whines, "come on. It's my phone."

Danneel is already sliding off the couch, pulling at her twisted green dress as she sits on the floor next to Jensen. Her fiery hair looks like a rats nest, not that Jensen plans to tell her that. He likes all his body parts just fine where they are.

"Yeah, but I wrote the ad," she says as she scrolls, "remember? I wanna see."

Jensen shoots her a nervous look and reaches around her to tap Chris. "Do you know what the hell she's talking about?"

Chris sits up, his head in his hands. "Why did we have to have that last bottle of whiskey, man, that's all I wanna know."

Danneel snorts, snatching a hair clip off the coffee table and twisting her long hair up quickly. "Wasn't the whiskey. I keep telling you _drink water_ , that's the key."

Jensen grabs at his phone but Danneel is faster, getting to her bare feet and crossing the room, scrolling through Jensen's phone.

Chris gives Jensen a sidelong look, rubbing his scruffy face. "Birthday party last night, right?"

Jensen nods, carefully, wondering if he can find the energy to get up and take his damned phone away from Danneel.

"Your mom did a speed date night for you. Or was that a nightmare?" Chris asks. He's pawing at his mostly unbuttoned dress shirt and finally just shrugs and pulls it over his head, leaving him in his wifebeater and pants. "That's better," he says, relief coloring his voice. 

Jensen rolls his eyes, rubbing a hand across his own stubbled face. "Yeah, to both. I've never been so horrified in all my life. She invited twenty dates to my birthday. Twenty."

Chris groans while Danneel laughs and says, "God, Jen, the look on your face when they just kept coming and coming and talking and talking."

"Dude," Chris adds, with a yawn, "I thought you were gonna run and hide after that one guy said he thought you'd 'look fabulous in these suede boots'." The last said with a complete rendition of the lisping lilt that made Jensen cringe all over again.

Jensen drops his head back on the arm of the sofa. "She is never gonna stop, I swear. She's already got Josh and Mac married off. And Josh and Amy got her grandkids."

Chris' eyes went wide. "Holy shit." He scrambles to his socked feet, sliding on the hardwood floor as he stumbles over to Danneel, peering at the phone.

Jensen's stomach drops to his toes. "Take out an ad," he whispers. "Oh fuck," he looks over at them; panic setting in. "Please, please, tell me you didn't do it."

Danneel's smile is glowing. "You have 263 responses to your ad for a fake husband."

Jensen scrambles to his feet and makes it to the bathroom just in time to throw up.

"Jared," Chad shouts from across the mostly empty quad. "My man, I have solved all your problems," he adds, walking up and sitting down on the bench next to Jared.

"What, did you find a money tree?" Jared asks, not bothering to look up from help wanted ads he's browsing on his pad. 

Chad grins. "Better, man, better." He whips a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Read it and bask in my brilliance."

Jared shakes his head but looks up and unfolds the paper Chad is pushing in front of his nose. It's a print out from Craigslist. He sighs but reads it anyway.

_Wanted:_  
One husband for non-physical, same sex relationship. Minimum two year contract. Remuneration arrangement flexible depending on the needs of potential husband.  
REQUIRED INFORMATION – Valid and verifiable – name, age, location, circumstances and reason for interest in contract.  
Serious applicants only apply to jrainoh@gmayl.com 

Jared reads it four times trying to comprehend that, yes, he really did just read that. He shakes his head, stunned and cuts a glance at a smirking Chad.

"Are you out of your damned mind?" Jared jumps to his feet and narrowly misses knocking over two women rushing by. He shouts out a 'sorry' and shuffles back towards the bench, frustrated beyond all reason. He sets his pad down on the bench. "Okay, Chad. Yeah, you're trying to help and yeah, I wanna finish school." He holds up his hand to prevent Chad from butting in. "That said, let me just say – and I can't say this strongly enough – that I don't want to end up wrapped in plastic in some freak's garage, waiting to be buried in a landfill." He sits down hard. "But thanks for thinkin' of me." He drops his shaggy head in his hands.

"Really? Jared, this could be the thing!" Chad snaps his fingers under Jared's nose and Jared smacks his hand away.

"The thing." Jared repeats sarcastically. He shakes his head and shoves the paper back at Chad. "You are such an asshole, Chad."

"Um, Jay," Chad says slowly. "How funny would it be if – I mean – dude what if you just meet the guy?"

Jared stiffens, slowly raising his head, eyes widening as he looks over at Chad's very guilty face. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He's utterly mortified. "That ad asked for real information, Chad." He leans over, gripping Chad's collar. "It better be your name and address that you sent."

Chad chews on his lower lip while he tries unsuccessfully to loosen Jared's grip. "Dude, it says same sex. You know I dig pussy, man."

Jared shoves him away in disgust. He picks up his backpack and shoves his pad inside, ready to end this conversation.

"I'll go with you," Chad says, earnestly. "Come on, Jay," he adds, "at least find out what it's about. What if this guy is willing to pay for your last two years of grad school?" 

Jared groans. "I have a lot of friends. Why do I keep you around again?"

Chad snorts. "You love me, don't play."

Jared grins in spite of himself and nods his head ruefully. "Dammit. Why did y'all have to move next door when I was two?"

Chad leans back and looks up at the bright blue sky. "Fate, brother, fate."

"More like a cosmic 'fuck you' to my life," Jared says drolly. He rubs a hand over his face. "You really sent my info to some random guy that's advertising for a fake husband," his voice rises to a squeak, "on Craigslist?"

"Well, yeah." Chad gives him a confused look. "Where else would you advertise for a fake husband? Sheesh, Jay, I thought you were smart."

Jared makes a sound somewhere between and whine and a screech. "I am! And that's why I know you don't shop for husbands on Craigslist."

Chad taps his watch. "Okay, so don't go meet him."

That gets Jared's undivided attention and he throws on his backpack then yanks Chad up from the bench and drags him over behind the huge oak tree at the edge of the quad. Chad sputters and struggles, doing his best to shake free but Jared's having none of it. He pushes Chad back against the tree.

"You better fucking tell me what you've done Chad. And tell me all of it."

Chad swallows hard, hands rising in supplication. "Okay, okay." He takes a deep breath and brushes at his now wrinkled shirt. "So, here's the skinny. I saw the ad two weeks ago."

Jared sinks to the ground. "Oh god, this is so gonna be bad."

Chad sits next to him and pats his knee. "Gave them your info, ya know, name age, grad student at UT. That you're interested because you need to pay for two years of grad school because the folks cut you off when you decided not major in law and follow in Daddy's footsteps and I sent your picture."

Jared is too stunned to speak, just shakes his head, numb.

"The guy apparently got a bagillion emails but narrowed it down to about fifty and you were one of them. You meet with him in two hours at the _Ground Down Coffee Shop_ on 8th Ave."

Chad pulls something else out of his shirt pocket and hands it to Jared. "This is the dude. Jensen. Jensen Ackles."

For some reason the name rings a bell but he doesn't dwell on it once he takes the picture from Chad. The guy is drop dead gorgeous. The greenest eyes, thickest lashes and _holy shit_ freckles. Jared traces a finger along the strong jaw and highly kissable lips. His hair is short, spiky and blond at the tips. It takes him several minutes to look up, only to find Chad smirking at him.

He scowls. "There is no way to know this is really him. Nobody looks this good without serious help from a plastic surgeon and Photoshop."

Chad's smirk widens. "Let's go find out. The response says you can bring a friend."

Jared snorts. "That leaves you out."

Chad makes an indignant huff, but Jared is already focusing on the image cradled in his hands and he knows he'll make that meeting.

Jensen is staring at his screen. Nothing new, except for what he's reading. After a screaming match with Danneel, he had agreed to look at a selection of the applicants if she screened them and got it down to just a few for him to have to deal with. Danneel being who she is, had done it in record time, forcing him to eat his words.

He still couldn't believe this many people would respond to an ad on Craigslist for a fake husband. And he was pretty damned sure he wouldn't want to meet anyone that would respond to that kind of ad. So far, he hadn't been wrong. Most of these men sent naked pictures offering sex for money or making wild financial requests. Some seemed normal but didn't really pique his interest.

However, despite Jensen’s understandable reluctance, there is one man Jensen keeps coming back to. Jared Padalecki. Grad student wanting money for school. No strange requests, no naked pictures, although this one Jensen would be happy to see naked. Jared is beautiful. Shaggy brown hair, warm, kind hazel eyes and dimples so deep he could drown in them. 

His cell phone buzzes and he pulls his eyes away to see Danneel's name across the screen. He sighs but answers. "Yes, I've looked at them," he says before she can even ask.

_"Did you see him?"_

He shuts his laptop quickly, as if she could see what he was looking at. "Did I see who?" He asks neutrally.

_"Don't play innocent with me. Jared. I know you saw that one. He's perfect, Jens."_

Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and drops his glasses to his desk. "Yeah, I saw him," he admits. "I just don't think this is a good idea. Everything else aside, because I still don't know why I'm really doing this, I am sort of wanted by the FBI, ya know. That's hard to explain to a potential husband," he adds, voice dripping with sarcasm.

_"Jesus, Jensen, I'm not suggesting you tell him about your after-hours hobby. And considering you do contract work for the FBI, you'll have no issues keeping them out of your business. At least you haven't so far. Besides, no one is actually looking for Jensen Ackles. Now, finding the Shock Doc would make any law enforcement officer's year."_

He snorts derisively. "What the hell kinda moniker is Shock Doc anyway. Sounds like a late night DJ, not a – well, it's just not right." And yeah, he gets that this is a seriously twisted conversation but it _bugs_ him.

_"Do you even hear yourself sometimes? And the term you're avoiding is s-e-r-i-a-l k-i-l-l-e-r. That's what you get called when you pick a type, have a method and are repetitive as hell. _And_ getting back to the point. FBI – and related – not an issue here right now for you."_

His responding laugh is harsh and he chooses to ignore the whole FBI slash moniker thing because, she has a point and he hates that. 

"This can't happen and you know it. It may be a fake marriage but we will have to live together to pull it off. There's no way he won't know something strange is going on. He's a grad student in psychology. This is not a guy to hide stuff from."

_"Well, then maybe it's time you stop and that way you won't have to hide a damned thing. Ever think of that? Get back to your life, Jensen Ross."_

He chews his lower lip and counts to ten. He doesn't want to argue with her but she never stops pushing. "That's enough, Danni. I can't stop, you know that and you know why. And what if he does find out? That will go over really well."

_"So, you shift things a bit. Send your codes from my place, or Chris' or your lab. Keep that away from your place. It can work, Jen. Besides, you've used that as an excuse for too long. You deserve to be happy, you bastard."_

He can't stop the grin that stretches across his face. "Aw, honey, you say the sweetest things to me."

_"Then listen up, baby. You are a certifiable catch. Rich as hell, smarter than the computers you hack, and so sexy my ovaries scream about the beautiful children we could make if the thought of having sex with you didn't make me want to vomit."_

"Hey," he interrupts, indignant. "Sex with me is great."

Danneel snorts. _"Uh huh. If I ever develop a love of anal sex I'll call you. Should be the same day I grow a dick."_

Jensen drops his head to his desk, shaking it absently. "Oh god, please, please, _please_ get to the point of this conversation so it can end."

_"The point is this: you have a date with Jared at **Ground Down** in an hour. Told him he could bring a friend. I'll be yours. And I'll pick you up in twenty, no make that ten minutes. I have no doubt what you'll be wearing is wrong so you'll have to change before we leave. See you soon,"_ she sing-songs before hanging up.

Jensen just sits there with his phone in his hand wondering how he can possible make any of this work and why he's bothering when he really doesn't want to. And why when he closes his eyes he sees a mile wide smile with dimples.

Jared's palms are sweaty and his heart is beating out a staccato rhythm a drummer would envy. He's peered inside the windows of the Ground Down so many times, he thinks the baristas are about to call the police and have him arrested for stalking.

His pacing back and forth probably doesn't help either. He glances over at Chad, who's just leaning against the brick wall shaking his head. "Am I dressed okay?" He asks for the tenth time. He'd gone with his best black cowboy boots, dark jeans and a long sleeve blue button-up but not his jacket and now he wonders if he should have worn it.

"As much fun as it is watching you act like a twelve year old girl, can we go the fuck in already?" Chad huffs apparently preferring to ignore the question, same as he had the last time Jared had asked him. Fucker.

There are still ten minutes before the meeting and Jared really hates that the place is so busy he can't see everyone. He wants to see the guy – make sure he's legit before walking through the door.

"I don't see him, Chad. I'd really like to see that he's real before I do this. It's a big step, I mean like crossing the threshold big, ya know?" He glances inside again.

"If you're waiting for me to carry you over that threshold, we should at least shake hands first, dontcha think?"

Jared freezes at the sound of the deep, and oh so sexy voice _right_ behind him. A quick look to Chad and he knows, absolutely knows that Jensen Ackles has arrived. 

"Shit," he mutters under his breath and turns to see that _god, yes_ , Jensen not only lives up to his picture, he surpasses it in every way. 

Jensen's gold flecked green eyes crinkle around the edges, his full lips are twitching and Jared can tell he's trying hard not to laugh and Jared feels something in his chest loosen. His eyes automatically travel up and down the length of Jensen's long lean body and _holy shit_ bowed denim clad legs. He's in cowboy boots as well and a green v-neck sweater so soft Jared wants to rub his cheek or other various body parts on it.

His eyes snap back up to meet Jensen's amused, knowing look and he feels his cheeks flush. "I'm a big enough klutz that it might not be a bad idea." Jared doesn't know who's more shocked when he says it, him or Jensen.

Jensen just smiles. "I'll remember that." He holds out his hand. "I'm Jensen, and it really is a pleasure to meet you, Jared."

Jared returns the smile and takes his hand in a firm clasp and he almost jerks from the zing that runs through his body from such a simple touch. He's so fucked, it's ridiculous. Love at first sight to a guy that wants a fake husband. Really, his life should come with a surgeon general's warning.

He swallows hard as Jensen pulls his hand back slowly. 

"You, too," Jared rasps and just stands there staring and Jensen seems content to let him and he would have stayed that way all day, he's sure if it wasn't for Chad clapping his hands together loudly.

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/19628/19628_original.jpg)   


"Okay, boys and really hot girl," Chad leers, openly gawking at Jensen's friend. 

That's when Jared notices the stunning redhead. 

"I'm Chad, Jared's BFF and I think Red and I need to just go someplace else and see just how flexible she is in those damn fine heels and leave you boys alone." He kisses the air and winks at her.

The redhead rolls her eyes. "My name is Danneel, asshole, and I like my men with dicks. Grow one and try again."

Jared snorts so hard he starts coughing and Jensen's patting his back, laughing silently as Chad stands there mouth open.

"But," Danneel adds, "I don't think you need me here anymore, Jen." She leans over and pecks his cheek. "Try," she whispers in his ear, even though she must know Jared's close enough to hear. 

Jensen nods and she runs a manicured hand along Jared's cheek. "Play nice or I will gut you," is her parting shot to him and with a sweet smile she turns and walks back down the street, only to stop and crook a finger over her shoulder. "Come on, asshole. They need to be alone."

Chad recovers quickly and claps Jared on the shoulder. "Later, bro," he calls out, following her like a puppy. 

Jared watches them, only slightly concerned. "She won't really hurt him, will she?" 

Jensen shakes his head, sliding his hands in his front pockets. "Nah, but if he tries something stupid, she will make him regret it."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Oh, he'll try something stupid, alright. It's what he does best."

Jensen offers a toothy grin in response and Jared just melts at the sight. Totally fucked.

"So," Jensen starts, looking in at the busy coffee shop, "kinda busy in there. Maybe we could sit over there?" With a tilt of his head he motions to the cluster of bistro tables scattered around the pocket park, which are mostly empty.

Jared nods in response and they walk quickly across and pick a table in the back right next to the small lily pond. He glances across the pond to the larger lake beyond, watching the ducks take flight on the gentle spring breeze.

Jared tries to talk, he really does but this situation is so far out of his comprehension, all he ends up doing is chewing his lip and twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands. 

Jensen finally breaks the increasingly awkward silence. "Okay, just so you know, I don't do this, I've never done this and I didn't place the ad." He sounds apologetic. "I just thought you should know, ya know?"

Jared's eyes widen. He guesses Jensen senses his growing panic because he's holding up a hand and shaking his head.

"No, wait," he rubs a hand across his face. "This is freaky, man, but a little background might help." He temples his hands, resting his forearms on the table. "This all came about because my mom will not stop trying to set me up. I mean, I could live with it but she's getting rabid about it lately." 

He gives Jared a pained look. "For my birthday last month she invited twenty strangers for a speed-dating session. She's possessed or something." He shakes his head before dropping it to the table. 

Jared huffs out a laugh, relaxing again. "Dude. That is so, so – I dunno what it is other than just plain wrong."

Jensen groans, looking back up. "Man, you don't even know. And well, Danni, who you just met, and my friend Chris and I, we kinda emptied the whiskey shelf at my place after the birthday fiasco and um, that's when Danni did the ad."

Jared plucks at his sleeve, grinning. "If it helps, I didn't reply to the ad you didn't place. Chad did. And I didn't find out until two hours ago."

Jensen laughs out loud at that and Jared could really get used to that sound.

"Oh, man, our friends, suck or kick ass," he leans over, staging a whisper. "I'm still on the fence."

Jared grins. "Yeah, me and Chad go way back. I'm sort of crashing with him right now so my options for revenge if this is a bust are kinda limited."

"That could make things awkward," Jensen replies, smiling.

His smile is genuine and the tight coils of doubt loosen in Jared's chest. He's still not sure about this but for now he's willing to see where this goes. He grins wide and settles back only to give Jensen a mock serious look. "So, Mr. Ackles. I believe I'm here for an interview."

Jensen plays along, brows drawing together, expression thoughtful. He nods his head. "That is correct, Mr. Padalecki." He sits back but seems to think better of it and braces his elbows on the table instead all traces of humor gone. "I know you didn't answer the ad, but you did come to meet me. And there was a comment about needing money to pay for grad school. Why did you come? I know the money was the hook," Jensen pauses, searching Jared's face, "but I get the feeling that's not the only reason you came."

Jared tilts his head. "You're good at reading people." He runs a hand through his always messy hair. "Yeah, I was pissed as hell when Chad told me what he did but then he showed me your picture and man, I mean; you do not need an ad to get a husband." He shoots Jensen a curious look in turn but only gets a pointed look in return. Jared shrugs. "That's okay, we'll get to you next," he says with a grin.

Jensen says nothing but his eyes are warm as he waves Jared to continue.

"I was curious." Jared says. "I won't lie, I do need money for school. And I'm kind of out of options."

Jensen's voice is soft. "Your parents?"

Jared nods. "They were so proud of me when I first started college. Talking about how Dad would be able to keep the firm in the family now and not destroy everything he'd built." He feels the sharp pang that comes with talking about his parents but he chose to come here, so he really can't pull back now. "I never wanted to be a lawyer but I just couldn't work up the courage to tell them."

He taps the table absently. "Since they didn't care what I did for undergraduate work, I took psychology with every intention of continuing that field for my graduate work. I knew I had four years to work on them, try and get them to see that I shouldn't have to live their dreams." 

Jared leans forward, eager to share his passion. "I want to get my Master's in Child Development Psychology. I want to work with children. Help with rehabilitation or abused children. So many kids fall through the cracks or just get overlooked. There's one program I want to work in and that's the Lane Recovery Center. One is supposed to be opening in Houston and that is exactly the kind of place that offers the opportunities I'm looking for." He shrugs. "Not that I have a chance of getting in. Internships there are few and far between and only the top students are even considered. Barring that, I'd like to develop something similar, a safe place and a chance for kids that just don't have any way out other than foster care or other overcrowded facilities."

Jensen drops his head, letting it settle in his palm. "You never know, Jared, that may just be possible," he says with an enigmatic smile, which warms Jared to his toes. "Either option sounds like a worthy and fulfilling career choice."

Jared sighs. "It is and isn't. I'm not looking to work at some expensive practice dealing with rich kids. Like I said, I want to work with kids as risk, I-I want to make a difference and that doesn't pay as well," he adds, getting to the crux of his parents issues.

Jensen reaches over and takes the hand Jared's been using to pick at his sleeve and Jared feels that zing radiate from his fingers and travel all through his body. "I think that it takes a lot of strength to walk away to follow your dreams."

The zing calms to something soft and warm, and Jared squeezes Jensen's hand in a silent 'thank you'. He shifts back, releasing his hand reluctantly and continues with his story. "After I got my BA, I told my parents I wouldn't be going to law school, that I wanted to continue my graduate work in child psychology. So I transferred from Rice to the University of Texas Health Science Center."

"They didn't take it well," Jensen says sadly.

Jared picks at the hole in the knee of his jeans, not able to look at Jensen and hating how emotionally raw he feels talking about this. "That's an understatement. I'm completely cut off, financially, emotionally and every other way."

Jensen sighs. "I'm so sorry, Jared. That's a pretty piss-poor reason for them to cut you out of their lives. They should be proud of what you want to accomplish, not try to force you into something you aren't."

It's only then that Jared realizes his cheek is wet and he wipes angrily at his eyes. He hates that his parent's abandonment of him can still affect him so strongly. "Sorry I'm such a mess, but you should know up front what a wreck I am." He looks straight into Jensen's concerned eyes. "But I won't lie to you and I won't hide things from you."

Jensen flinches at that and Jared only has a moment to question it because Jensen quickly changes the subject.

"Wouldn't a PhD give you a better advantage to do that?"

Jared laughs humorlessly. "Well yeah, but I'll have to save a few years for that. At least this way I can get into my field while I'm waiting."

Jensen releases his hand. "No you won't." He stands up and offers Jared his hand. "How about dinner?" He gives Jared a flashy grin. "And then we can talk about me and if you don't hear anything too scary, we can talk about that contract?"

Jared is literally stunned silent and can't seem to close his mouth. Part of him wants to shout in joy but another part is still wondering what the hell he thinks he's doing. This is a major commitment to someone he's only just met. As dire as his living and financial situation is, he's not sure he can go through with this. 

Jensen drops his hand. "I'm not trying to rush you or anything. I like you and it's not like we're talking about a real marriage. More of a working partnership."

Jared finally stands. "Can we just do dinner? Talk a bit? This is a bit much for me to take in right now." 

"Dinner it is," Jensen says softly, holding out his hand again. This time, Jared takes it.

He wants this to work, needs this to work and not because of the money. No, it's because he can't imagine not seeing Jensen again.

"An ethical hacker?" Jared asks with raised eyebrows. "Isn't that a misnomer?"

Jensen rolls his eyes, but before he can answer the waiter is back to take their order. They order quickly and Jensen zones out as he watches Jared glance around the room while the waiter verifies their order. This is one of Jensen's favorite restaurants and he comes here often, so he's at ease with the place and felt the need for a familiar setting. He was relieved that Jared knew it and had been here before as well. 

They'd come here directly from the park and settled at a table outside, overlooking the lake. He smiles absently, watching Jared fiddle with his water glass and wonders once again, what the hell he's doing.

A soft squeeze to his hand startles him and he looks up to see Jared smirking at him and he feels heat flush his cheeks.

"Damn, sorry." Jensen clears his throat to cover his embarrassment at being caught daydreaming. "I do that. I get to thinking about something… and then I'm just gone." He flashes a quick grin. "Something you should know about me."

Jared laughed. "'s okay. But I still want an answer."

It's a testament to how bad a state Jensen is in that it takes Jared staring at him for a full minute before he remembers.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath only to get another smirk in response. "No, it's not a misnomer." This he can talk about all day. "I get paid by corporations, individuals and a country or two to test or attack their security systems. I find vulnerabilities and develop programming and security to counteract those issues."

Jared whistles. "So, that would make you extremely high on the technology scale." He fidgets a bit and Jensen already knows what's next. "Is that where all your money comes from? I mean, it's not really my business but you are talking about paying for grad school and post doc work like it's nothing, so – kinda curious."

Jensen sips his Jack and Coke debating how to answer. "Some of it." He has lots of things Jared needs to know to go through with this. So, he decides to just get that part of him out there. Stagger the shock value by degrees. "I was, uh, something of a prodigy. I had two PhD's by the time I was twenty. One in computer science and the other in computer engineering." 

He sees Jared's stunned look and rushes on. "Yeah, I hold the patent to multiple software security designs as well as other developmental software programs. I've developed robotics and IA technologies, including anthropomorphic interfaces, used by Google and several other companies and uh, on occasion I do contract work for the FBI and the CIA on encryptions. I've been offered several research fellowships and such but I like the freedom I have now with my own labs… that are sort of in the building I live in and um, own."

"Holy shit, Jensen." Jared's jaw literally drops, his mouth opens and closes several times and Jensen worries he's gonna freak the hell out. Most do at this point. All the guys his mother has tried to force on him over the years, all those confident high powered executives would turn tail at finding out just exactly what his capabilities were. He was so tired of the fumbling excuses and hasty exits. If Jared was going to do it, it's better that it happens now.

But Jared surprises him. His expression goes thoughtful and after a minute he leans over the table, smiling wide enough for his dimples to stun Jensen stupid. "Does that mean you can help me program my new phone, 'cause really, I couldn't answer a call yesterday."

Jensen's still blinded by those damned dimples but Jared just keeps smiling, waiting and what Jared said sinks in and Jensen shoots him a horrified look. "You can't be serious."

Jared nods. "Totally. I'm kind of computer illiterate."

For some reason, that more than anything eases Jensen's mind and he gives Jared a sharp grin. "So, I don't ever have to worry about you touching my computers. This is a good thing."

Jared snorts. "Yeah, not ever."

He raises his glass and tips it in Jared's direction. "Here's to the beginning of a great fake marriage."

Jared raises his water glass and clinks it against Jensen's. "Yeah," he says softly. "I think it will be."

The rest of the evening is spent getting to know each other and Jensen is surprised at how easy it is to talk to Jared. They linger over pecan pie and coffee.

"So, what about your family, Jensen? You haven't said much except about your mom."

Jensen had been waiting for this as well. His family is very well known in Texas for several reasons but he kind of likes that Jared hasn't connected the dots of his last name as matching that of the last two governors. He thinks he might need to ease into that one later. "Well," he says finally, "my dad is retired and my brother is married with two great kids that I love to spoil." He smiles fondly. "I have a younger sister, that just got married and she and her husband are traveling around the world right now. Taking a six month tour." 

Jared sips his coffee. "Sounds like you're close to them."

Jensen stabs a pecan on his fork and crunches it, relishing the taste. "I am. I didn't grow up with them much but we talked, texted, Skyped, you name it."

"There's just me," Jared says. "I used to think it would be so cool to have a brother or a sister."

He gets this faraway look and Jensen knows he's thinking of his parents. "Well, if you marry me, you'll inherit siblings, both of which I will be happy to have you take off my hands."

Jared laughs, just as Jensen hoped. "Liar. But thanks." His smile drops away slowly. "I'm not sure I can do this, Jensen."

Jensen doesn't ask what he means. "That's okay, Jared, you don't have to."

He shakes his head. "No, Jensen, I've been so stuck in my books and trying to hide from my parents, my life has sort of slipped by me. I've had one serious relationship and it tanked after six months."

Jensen nods. "Let's not approach this that way. Think of it as a formalized business arrangement. I'm not asking for anything romantic or sexual from you," he adds.

Jared groans. "Can we make this sound less like legalized prostitution? I know you just said what you said about sex but really," he cuts off as Jensen starts laughing.

"Okay," Jensen says, his laughter dying under Jared's glare. "A partnership. You gain financial independence and I gain the freedom to live my life the way I want."

Jared stares at him for so long Jensen is positive he'll say 'no' in the end.

Instead, he gets a slow smile. "I can do that."

Jensen pulls out his cell phone. "I'm gonna call my attorney, have him draw up the contracts and tomorrow we can go look at them. If you agree to everything we'll sign."

Jared takes a deep breath and nods.

Jensen scrolls his contacts quickly. "Hey, Mike, I need that two year contract drawn up. The one you laughed your ass off about when Danni called you." He gave Jared a pointed look. "Financial remuneration to follow once you calculate how much it will cost someone with a BA to get his PhD. I'll send you all the info once you stop sputtering," he adds dryly before hanging up.

At Jared's stunned look he smirks. "Hey, we'll be divorced in two years. PhD means less alimony."

Jared almost falls out of his chair laughing.

 

  
[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/18015/18015_original.jpg)   


 

Slender arms wrap around Jensen's neck moments before warm lips press against his cheek. "Hey, Danni," he smiles as she slides around to sit in his lap.

She smirks at him. "Come on, say it."

He rolls his eyes but wraps her up in a hug. "No," he whispers wickedly in her ear.

Danni punches his arm and pulls away only to plop down on the leather conference chair next to him. "Bastard. I find you the perfect husband and you can't even say 'thank you'?"

Jensen stacks the papers in front of him. "Fake husband." He doesn't know why he feels it's important to remember that part.

"Hmmm," is all she says as she glances over at the paper on top of the stack. "Ryan Hilton."

Jensen nods shortly.

"He's next," she says casually.

Jensen pulls his glasses off. He's so fucking tired. He's been in the lab for twelve hours already working on a new robotic prototype but needed a break. The conference room is one of his favorite places to relax. Two walls are floor to ceiling windows, one of which faces West and Jensen loves to watch the sky go pink and orange as the sun sets. He keeps his eyes on the darkening sky. 

"Yep. Already high-jacked the camera feeds and my backdoor and failsafe are set. Just have to find out when he gets back from New York and then we'll be good to go."

She nods thoughtfully, chewing her lower lip and tapping a staccato with her long black nails on the glass table.

Jensen sighs, rubbing his temple, anticipating the headache this conversation will give him. "Get it out, Danni." He snatches her hand off the table and holds it to keep it still.

"I get it, Jen, I do." She presses her free hand to her chest. "I _help_ you, for god's sake. So I really do get it. But your luck will run out one day." Danni turns her hand over in his and grips back. "You've been my best friend since I punched that guy in first grade for picking on you. I have way too much invested in you to want to have to visit you in prison or worse see you dead."

He looks over at her and sees the worry in her blue eyes. It's always there these days. "He was your friend, too." Is all he says as he looks away.

Danni smiles, remembering. "Yeah. With him and Chris we were the Four Musketeers." She grips his chin gently but forces him to look at her again. "I know you loved him, I know you were going to marry him but how many times do you have to avenge his death? How many deaths will be enough?"

Jensen yanks back from her touch his eyes growing cold as anger bubbles up through his chest. "Every one of those bastards deserves to die. Every fucking one and you know it. All of them were guilty. Released on a 'technicality'," he uses air quotes around the word, "I'm just rectifying those technicalities."

She slams a hand on the table shouting, "Yes, I know, all convicted, all convictions overturned for dumb-ass reasons, like illegal searches or lost samples. But Jen, it won't bring Jules back." She rubs his cheek. But, Jen, stopping might bring you back."

Jensen snorts. "I'm not gone, Danni," he bolts out of his chair trying to stop the anger from boiling over. "I'm getting married in two weeks." He crosses the bank of windows and presses his forehead to the cool glass. The sky has gone black, cloudy. Even the stars are hidden tonight.

Danni laughs. "Yes! And meeting him at the coffee shop was your first date in four years. Four years of you buried in your lab twenty-four/seven until six months ago when Chris literally dragged you out by your lab coat!"

Jensen hears her coming up behind him and he turns around ready to walk out if she keeps pushing him. But she's got tears in her eyes and he can't stand to see her cry so he runs a thumb gently across her cheek. "Don't cry, Danni, please. Everything will work out. Things are set up with Ryan. I'll give it a rest for a while after that, I promise."

She hugs him tightly. "God, you're so damned smart and gifted and talented it makes me sick, but there are other people just as smart, or close to it anyway, trying to find you. You've killed ten men, Jensen."

He flinches and tries to pull away but she doesn't let him. "Please let it go. Get fake married, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Please, Jens, I can't lose you." 

She's crying. Deep wracking sobs and Jensen finds his vision blurring in response. "Hush, Danni, it's okay. Everything will be okay, I promise," he mummers over and over into her hair. "Everything will be okay."

Jared races down the hall and out the doors of the auditorium. It was now official. In two weeks, he will be going to grad school. And getting married. Married and grad school. His life was strange, good but strange. Jared clutches the packet in his hands before shoving it under his arm as he whips out his phone and scrolls through names until he finds Jensen's. His thumb hovers over the name and Jared can't help but wonder for the hundredth time, if this is really happening to him. In two weeks everything changes. He can't stop thinking it. Married. Fake married but still, married.

They hadn't seen much of each other in the past month. Jensen has been working on another – something that Jared tries really hard to understand but can't – and they've communicated mostly via text since Jen has been all but locked up in his lab. Part of Jared is relieved at the lack of contact because, seriously, he falls more in love every time he notices a new freckle, or watches his eyes crinkle or he pinches the bridge of his nose while wearing his glasses. It's ridiculous the amount of time Jared spends in the shower with his dick in his hand. Friction burn is becoming a real possibility.

Still, he wants to see Jensen, and he puts his phone back in his pocket and crosses campus quickly. It's a beautiful day, he's happy and he wants to share this with Jensen in person.

"Mr. Padalecki?"

Jared stops short and sighs. Or not. "Yes," he says without turning around.

The young perky woman isn't deterred and steps around him. She has a bright fake smile and her hand held out. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Anna James with the Daily Tribune."

Jared doesn't take the proffered hand, crossing his arms instead, saying nothing. He really hates this.

Her smile never falters as she lowers her hand. "I was hoping to talk to you about your upcoming nuptials."

Jared gives her a forced smile. "No." And with that he walks off as quickly as his long legs will carry him knowing she'll try to follow. She wasn't the first reporter he's dealt with. No, this was becoming a regular occurrence when he dared to leave home, because Donna Ackles doesn’t just announce an engagement, she _publicizes_ it. 

Jared, who never followed society or entertainment news, was blindsided one day by a reporter from _Texas Monthly_ and that encounter had left him fleeing as fast as he could while freaking the fuck out and searching out Jensen to explain why the hell reporters wanted to know about _their_ upcoming marriage. When Jensen explained why Jared almost had a fit.

Seems that on top of everything else, Jensen was sort of Texas royalty. His dad had been Governor Ackles for twenty years until he stepped down to make way for his son, the recently elected Josh Ackles. And Jared was positive Josh would be there until _his_ son was ready to take over. Texans _loved_ the Ackles family and everything about them. Jared had felt really damned stupid for not connecting the dots. He wasn't political but he knew the Ackles name as well as any other Texan. Just never occurred to him that his techy, nerdy, sexy Jensen was one of _the Ackles_. The day he learned it is burned in his brain.

" __

_Are you kidding me?" Jared screeched. "That first night I asked about your family and you didn't think that was important to tell me when you were telling me everything else?"_

_Jensen was shaking his head before Jared finished. "No, it's not like that. I'm not in the political game. I never got paraded around like Josh and Mac." He ran a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. "I didn't even know people knew who I was. I went off to Princeton when I was twelve and then to MIT at fourteen. I finished up my PhD's when I was seventeen and then I went to Harvard to take part in a two year study hosted by the Artificial Intelligence Research Group."_

_Jared just stared him, finding it hard to believe the reality of anything happening to him right now. Jensen seemed oblivious and just kept going._

_"I was twenty before I came back here and I haven't really lived a public life ya know?"_

_He looked so upset Jared wanted to hug him but he settled for pulling Jensen over to the couch and pushing him down._

_"Okay. I get it. You didn't consider this. But, Jensen. We are getting married. And your mom has invited the **President**. I haven't even met your family yet and your mom is emailing me a guest list." His voice is rising, as panic comes back full throttle. "To our wedding, the fake one, the one I thought was gonna be us in front of a judge. This is some serious shit for me to take in **on the day I meet your family**. God, please tell me you weren't gonna let me walk in there and make an ass outta myself. If this reporter hadn't ambushed me – you were gonna tell me first, right? Right, Jen?" His panic was completely maxed out at this point._

_"Hell, Jay, of course I was, in the car, after we got Chris," he mumbled._

_Jared's eyes narrowed. "After we got Chris. That's how you were gonna tell me. When I’m trapped in a car with no escape unless I plan to combat roll onto the street."_

_Jensen went still, dropped his head, starred at his hands and spoke so softly Jared almost didn't hear it._

_"You can end this any time. I won't go back on the terms, I'll still pay because I failed to disclose. It's within your rights."_

_Jared looked over at him sharply but Jensen is still studying his own hands. And Jared knew media circus or not, fake marriage or not, he loves Jensen. Even though he knows so little about him and even though he know Jensen would most likely shake his hand and say 'goodbye' in two years; he loves him just the same. If all he'd get are those two years, he refused to miss one second of them wasting time on things he can't change. He can, however, change this._

_So Jared took Jensen's hand and Jensen looked up startled. "No. If nothing else, I think we've become friends and I'm ready to do this. Just let me freak out about it sometimes."_

_Jensen squeezed his hand. "I can do that." He let out a deep sigh when his phone chirped and he pulled it out of his pocket with his free hand. His grin melted Jared's bones and Jared had to refocus to look at the phone Jensen was holding up for him to see the text from Chris._

_**"where the hell are y'all?"** Jared swears he can hear Chris growl from here._

_Jensen pulls the phone back, still grinning. "We might be late. And if we don't respond and wait another thirty minutes his texts are gonna get seriously profane and we'll get yelled at when we get there."_

_Jared smirked and pulled Jensen up with him. "Yeah, I'll pass. He's gonna yell at us for being late as it is." He gave Jensen a warm look. "He worries about you."_

_Jensen ducked his head and shrugged. "I know. He's always been like that."_

_And Jared couldn't resist. He kissed Jensen on the temple. "I'm glad," he said softly._

_Jensen's green eyes closed and opened slowly on a breathy sigh that made Jared's stomach flip. Their eyes locked and Jared leaned close enough to feel each warm breath escaping from Jensen's parted lips. He drew in a sharp breath when Jensen's hand cupped the side of his face before his fingers slid back to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him gently forward._

_His entire body was strumming in anticipation when Jensen's phone chirps again and they jumped apart, surprised._

_Jensen silenced his phone, keeping his head down. "We should go."_

_"Yeah, we should." His disappointment was palpable but he followed Jensen to the door. He shook off his mood wanting to enjoy the evening. He stopped, suddenly, a thought occurring to him, and he scrunched his mouth off to the left. "What did you do at nineteen?"_

_Jensen jerked as if Jared had just shot him and turned to open the door. "What?"_

_Jared felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "The project was two years and you came back to Texas at twenty. Where were you when you were nineteen?"_

_Jensen walked out the door and Jared was about to ask again when Jensen finally answered. "Here, I was right here," he said hoarsely. "I was at this moment."_

_He doesn't say anything else and when he turned around he looked so devastated, Jared can't make himself ask what that means._

Two hands clap his shoulders, shaking him out of his memory. He jolts and turns to find Chris Kane wagging his eyebrows at him.

"Don't do that, asshole," he groans, "you scared the shit out of me."

Chris laughs. "Damn, you're easy, boy." Chris claps his shoulder again. "Come on, man, Jenny's waitin' dinner on us."

"I'm gonna tell him you called him that," Jared threatens. 

Chris snorts. "Like he don't already know."

Not much Jared can say because it's true. "Wait, us?" He asks confused. "I thought Jen was at the lab tonight, I was just gonna head over there and see him." He holds up his prize, unable to stop the grin. "I am officially in grad school."

Chris whoops and gives him a tight one-armed hug. "Damn, man, congratulations on gettin' to be in school for another thousand years."

Jared snorts and shoves him off. "Fuck you and the horse you're too damned short to ride."

Chris shoots him the bird but he's smiling.

They only get a few steps before Jared stops cold, giving Chris a head to toe look. "You're wearing a jacket."

Chris nods solemnly, his smile getting wider by the minute.

"No," Jared whines. "I'm not dressed for dinner with the Ackles."

"Already got it settled," Chris says, dragging Jared along. "We're stopping at your place where Danni is waiting with fashion advice or some shit like that."

Jared was wrong, this day sucks.

 

[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/18365/18365_original.jpg)

Jensen pulls at his tie and sips his scotch. He can't believe how many people are here.

"Jensen, darling."

He turns, forcing a smile on his face. "Hello, Mrs. Jackson."

She's a sixty year old busy body and the wife of Senator Jackson, so Jensen keeps things simple, and civil.

"You sweet thing, we were all so excited to hear about your wedding. Your poor mama has been talking of nothing else for weeks now." 

Jensen smiles tightly as she looks around. "Looking for someone?"

"Silly boy, of course. We're all so eager to meet your young man." She looks around again, puzzled. "Surely he's coming to his own engagement party."

Jensen almost chokes on his scotch. He is so going to kill his mother. _Family dinner, my ass_. He clears his throat at her confused look. "He'll be here. He's running late but sends his apologies."

Mrs. Jackson smiles sweetly. "Graduate student I understand. Bless his heart, he must be so busy what with wedding plans on top of all that school work," she says with a wave of her hand. "He's so fortunate your mama lives to plan things, take some of that burden off his shoulders." 

She pats his cheek and Jensen wonders why everyone thinks he's so inept in social graces that he can't plan his own wedding. "Run him by when he gets here, will you, dear? I've been told y'all make the most darlin' couple but I want to see for myself." She gives him a wave as she flits off to annoy someone else and Jensen stalks off to find his mother.

He doesn't get more than a few feet before he's waylaid by Josh and pulled through to the blessed silence of their father's wood paneled office. Jensen doesn't hide his appreciation at being kidnapped. He flops down on their dad's overstuffed leather chair. Josh scoots back to sit on the carved mahogany desk facing him and kicks his legs back and forth. 

Jensen laughs. "Very mature, Governor."

Josh shrugs but doesn't stop. "Mom didn't tell you, did she?"

"Fuck no," Jensen says, running a hand through his hair and loosening his tie.

His brother nods. "Yeah, I remember those days. Now Amy does it to me instead."

Jensen swivels around and looks out the French doors to the gardens beyond. "Jared will hate all this." He says it more to himself but Josh hears him anyway.

"Maybe. But he's a good guy, Jensen. Smart, too. Not you smart. But smart."

Jensen whips around at that only to find Josh grinning at him. "Bastard."

Josh scoots further back on the desk, carelessly pushing aside files and papers. "Well, he's not. But since you're on par with Mr. Data, it's not saying much."

"Jesus, stop with the Data crap. I am not a robot." It never fails to rile him and he knows that's why Josh does it, to get him out of his head.

"Speaking of artificial intelligence, where's that new assistant of yours?" Jensen counters sweetly.

Josh falls back on the desk with a groan. "In Austin, where he belongs. I swear, JR. That man doesn't smile, sweat or swear. I think if I stuck a needle in his veins I'd get oil. He creeps me out but he's efficient as hell."

Jensen kicks his feet up on the desk. "I hear ya, brother."

Josh turns on his side and props his head on his hand. "JR. Are you okay?" He shakes his head. "Wait, I mean, any bad memories popping up because of this?"

He doesn't pretend to misunderstand. Josh knows him. For all that they never saw each other growing up, next to Danneel and Chris, Josh was his fiercest protector and barely a night went by that they didn't talk. 

"I've thought about him, sure. But not like I used to." And it scares him how true that statement is. He loved Jules, was going to marry him and if he hadn't died, Jensen knows he'd still be married to him. 

"You have to tell Jared about him."

And there it is. The conversation he's been hoping to avoid. He nods, not able to speak around the lump in his throat. What was it he'd said back at the beginning? Stagger the shock value. This would be the hardest hit yet.

Josh sits up and plants his feet on the leather seat, bracketing Jensen's thighs. "I know you don't want to hear this but it isn't fair to Jared. He'll find out. Our family is in the public eye. You and Jules weren't in Texas when it happened but it still made news here because of who you are. Some reporter somewhere _will_ bring it up again."

Jensen toys with Josh's shoestring. "I know. He's just had so much stuff sprung on him. Me, y'all, the publicity crap. I just don't know that he's able to take another hit." It worries him. He's ready to marry Jared. What started out as a joke was quickly becoming an integral part of his life. Odd, really, they didn't talk much but texted constantly. Such simple things. Jared reminding him to take a break, to eat, to sleep, to get sun because _'those freckles will belong to me soon and I want more of 'em'_. They know so little about each other and yet so much. He's terrified of risking that.

There's a discreet knock at the door and both men look over to see one of the servants. She curtseys. "Mr. Jensen. Mr. Padalecki, Mr. Kane and Ms. Harris are here."

Jensen gives her a nod. "Thanks, Jeanine." Before she can leave, he adds, "Hey, can you put Mr. Padalecki in the library. I need to talk to him alone first."

"Yes, sir," she says and leaves them alone again.

Josh pushes on the chair, sending Jensen rolling across the room and jumps off the desk, straightening his grey suit. "Go see him and I'll run interference for you. But don't be too long. Mama's like a homing pigeon. She'll find him sooner than later."

Jensen's straightening his own suit and tie when Josh turns back to him. "One more thing you need to drop on him. His parents are here."

Jensen grinds his teeth so hard his jaw pops. "How the hell did that happen?"

"Mama." Josh throws his hands up. "She thought this would be a good time for them to make peace, I guess."

"Shit." Jensen knows that if nothing else will freak Jared the fuck out – that will. He doesn't say anything else, just walks past Josh and doesn't stop until his hand is on the door to the library. His head touches the cool wood and his hand tightens on the knob. "You can do this," he mutters and opens the door.

Jared whirls around at the sound and spreads his arms wide.

"Am I presentable enough?" he asks, looking down at himself. "Danni picked out the jacket and tie so blame her if I embarrass you again."

Jensen swallows hard. Jared is in a pair of well fitted dark denim jeans and rich charcoal jacket with a soft blue button down. His hazel eyes are warm and smiling and Jensen has to stop himself from jumping him and seeing just how tight those jeans really are. 

He's unable to move and he's been staring for too long but he manages a small smile. "You didn't embarrass me or anyone. Just your idea of a BBQ is different than Mama's."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Yeah. I'm in cargo shorts and a tee shirt and they're all in dress shirts and slacks." He shudders. "Dude, we are never having that kind of BBQ."

Laughter rings out from behind them and Jensen notices he's still in the doorway with his hand on the knob. The laughter is getting closer so he quickly closes the door and turns the key that's always in the lock. 

Without turning around he mumbles, "We need to talk about a couple of things."

Jared doesn't say anything and Jensen doesn't even know where to start. A large warm hand settles on his shoulder and pulls until Jensen's back is against the door and Jared's warm eyes are studying him.

"Sounds serious," he says.

Jensen catches his lower lip between his teeth. "It is."

Jared wraps his hand around Jensen's elbow and walks him over to the settee.

"Tell me." No recriminations, no doubt no anything in his voice but a willingness to listen and it's all Jensen can do to swallow.

"Do you remember when you asked me where I was when I was nineteen and I said I was in this moment?"

Jared nods but doesn't interrupt.

"What I meant was I was in this moment." He rubs the back of his neck nervously. "This about to be married moment."

Jared draws in a sharp breath. "What happened?"

Jensen toys with his cufflink. "He died."

He's waiting for Jared's recriminations about yet something else Jensen's neglected to tell him, when he's enveloped in an embrace so tight he almost can't breathe. Of all the reactions he envisaged, this was never one of them. He relishes in the comfort pouring out from Jared's strong arms and can't imagine ever letting go.

"Oh, Jen."

He holds onto Jared with everything he has. "I should have told you sooner, about that and so many other things but I come with so damned much baggage and fake or not you'll have to deal with it and somewhere along the way, I didn't want you to go and I don't really know what that means."

Jared just holds him close, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "Maybe you care about me, Jen."

Jensen rests his head on the broad shoulder in front of him. For some reason, it feels a lot like home. "Maybe."

He can feel Jared's smile against his cheek. "Hey, real marriages have started with less."

Jensen doesn't say anything he can't, it's too much and he's no longer accustomed to feelings with such depth. It kind of takes his breath.

A hand is gently rubbing his back. "Tell me about him."

"Okay," he says and is surprised to find that he wants to tell Jared. "We met on the robotics project. His name was Jules Fellows. He was four year older than me but we clicked instantly. Kinda love at first sight thing, ya know?"

He glances over at Jared and sees a strange expression on his face.

"Yeah, Jen, I know," is all he says.

Jensen gives him a strange look but nods. "Thought we were set for life but his ex, his ex didn't want to let Jules go." 

Jared doesn't say anything just keeps rubbing Jensen's back but his hand is lower, under his jacket and his pinky finger is curled snug around Jensen's back belt loop and his thumb is caressing back and forth along the small of Jensen's back. 

Jensen stays, not wanting to lose that gentle touch. "We had restraining orders, did everything we could think of, everything my family could think of. Security, private detectives, you name it, we tried it." He looks away, not able to face Jared. "Didn't stop the man from kidnapping and brutally raping Jules."

"Oh, shit, Jensen." Jared wraps his long arms around Jensen and buries his head on Jensen's shoulder, holding on, grounding him.

Jensen clasps Jared's hand in his. "He was arrested, tried and convicted. Jules healed and we planned our wedding. Thought it was all behind us. But the bastard was granted a retrial." His voice hardens. "Seems he wasn't Mirandized on his arrest. He was freed on a technicality and the DA immediately set a new trial date."

Jensen releases Jared's hand and turns to face him. Jared's eyes are bleak, wet and Jensen knows his own are the same. "Never had the trial. He killed Jules two days after he was released."

He watches the tears fall from Jared's eyes but for some reason, was curiously calm himself. 

"I'm so sorry, Jen, so sorry." He reaches for Jensen and Jensen goes without hesitation. They sit there, arms wrapped around each other, not talking just taking and giving comfort and more importantly, acceptance.

They stay that way for long moments only breaking apart when the door knob jiggles. They hear a sharp knock followed immediately by Donna Ackles insistent voice.

"Jensen Ross Ackles get your behind out here right now. You're not too old for me to take over my knee and spank, young man. Hiding out at your own engagement party. Why I never. Get out here this instant and bring dearest Jared with you. Do you hear me?"

The moment is broken and Jared is wiping his eyes, fighting a small smile.

"Yes, Ma'am," Jensen answers instantly, automatically. "Just another minute though, please, Mama?"

Jared falls back on the couch still smiling and Jensen couldn't feel more like a kid caught sneaking cookies if he tried.

"Fine," comes her exasperated response. "But only a few. Jared hasn't even had time to see his folks yet."

Jensen freezes as Jared shoots straight back up, betrayal sweeping across his face. Jensen snags his arm before he can move. "I didn't know. That was one of the things I pulled you in here to tell you, I swear, Jared."

Jared yanks his arm away and slides over to the other side of the couch. He cuts his eyes over at Jensen. "Your mom, right?"

Jensen nods, unsure of what he should do.

Jared fists his hands over his eyes. "Well, I guess marrying Texas royalty gets me a pass on not being a lawyer," he says snidely. "How nice of my parents to forgive me and allow them to wallow in the limelight." He drops his hands and stares up at the ceiling. "There must be something else," he trails off, eyes going wide. "Engagement party?"

"I didn't know that, either, until I got here," he puts a hand over his heart. "Swear. I'da called in dead or something before agreeing to one."

That gets a laugh out of Jared. "You and me both."

Jensen gives Jared an earnest look. "We're getting married in two weeks. Why the hell do we need an engagement party two weeks before the wedding?"

Jared laughs. "Cause your mama likes parties and you kept telling her we weren't having one, so..."

Jensen shakes his head ignoring that to focus on the other issue. "She doesn't know, Jared. The truth about what happened between y'all, so don't blame her for asking them. I just told her you and your folks didn't really get along and that it'd be easier all 'round if they were left out of all this."

Jared groans in response. "I know. It's just the idea of seeing them after everything…" he trails off, looking so lost it tears at Jensen's heart.

He gives Jared a tight hug. "I'll tell her if you want. I guarantee you the door will hit them in the ass on the way out. Mama likes you better than me. She'll be all mama bear on their asses."

He feels a smile against his throat as Jared mumbles. "God, I'd love to see that." He shifts so his head is on Jensen's shoulder and Jensen is perfectly happy to stay here for the next twenty years if it keeps a smile on Jared's face.

"But maybe it is a good time to face them." He grips Jensen's arm. "If you'll be with me."

That simple statement tells Jensen more than anything else. Jared trusts him, they barely know each other but for some remarkable reason, Jared believes in Jensen. He knows it, sees it and feels it and he is stunned stupid by how unworthy he is of such a good and decent man. When Jared leaves him at the end of the two year contract, Jensen knows it will be the end of him. He swallows hard. "Always," he says thickly. "Not goin' anywhere."

"Thanks, Jen," Jared mumbles against his shoulder. "Thanks for telling me about Jules. I know that wasn't easy."

Jensen cuts his eyes to the door, wanting nothing more than to forget the outside world right now. He cards his fingers through Jared's hair. "We best go before Mama comes back."

Jared nods and sits up, understanding. "Man, I really like your mom but she never stops."

Jensen gives him a look. "You do remember why we met, right?"

Jared slides back across the couch until his knees bump Jensen's. "Oh yeah. Twenty dates at your birthday party." He taps a finger to his lip. "Fake marriage really was your only choice."

Jensen throws his head back and laughs, filled with relief and joy and more than anything else. Happiness.

Jared has met more people in the past thirty minutes than he'd met in the entirety of his life and he still hasn't come round to his parents yet. He is almost grateful for that, because after meeting various ambassadors, CEOs, senators, dignitaries and two _former presidents_ , seeing his parents would be rather a relief.

Jensen is a constant at his side. Due either to his devotion or the result of the death grip Jared has on his hand but Jared is wearing his rose colored glasses right now so devotion it is. He does find it interesting that Jensen is just as uncomfortable in social settings as he is. He's known that but for some reason, seeing it here and now, reassures Jared and he doesn't really know why, just that he's glad to see it.

Jensen is getting his cheek kissed by a beautiful older woman. "Jensen, so good to see you again."

Jared is pleased that Jensen is happy to see her. 

"Lane, I thought you were in Geneva?"

She gives him a warm smile. "I was. Got back two days ago and found this invitation waiting for me. I wasn't missing this opportunity."

Jensen snorts. "Right. You just want to increase your donor's list."

Lane winks at Jared. "Of course, I never miss an opportunity for that but I am curious about who snagged you finally."

Jensen flushes to the roots of his hair and Jared bites his lip to keep from laughing.

"Oh, god, sorry, I completely suck at this stuff. Lane Masterson, meet Jared Padalecki, my husband to be."

Her smile is warm as she takes Jared's hand. "So lovely to meet you Jared and I'm so happy for you both."

So far she hasn't tried to schmooze, suck up or pinch his cheek, or say 'lord, child how tall are you', so Jared considers it a win. 

"Thank you." He looks between them. "How do you know each other?"

Lane snags a drink off a wandering waiter's tray. "We collaborated on a two year research project at Harvard." She gives Jensen a fond, maternal smile. "I grew rather fond of him and we've kept in touch ever since."

Jared sips his own drink. "Ah, so you're a techie as well, I take it."

She and Jensen both laugh but Jensen answers. "Hell no. She's like you with technology." He looks back and forth between Jared and Lane. "So further introductions. Dr. Lane Masterson, founder of the _Lane Recovery Centers_ for abused and neglected children, meet grad student Jared working towards a Masters in Child Development Psychology with a focus on abused and neglected children."

She gives Jared an appraising look and Jared almost swallows his tongue. "I've read positive things about your recovery centers. Your developmental treatments are ground breaking, Dr. Masterson."

"I'd enjoy talking to you more about it, as well as discussing our intern program." She pulls a card out of her purse and Jared takes it with an unsteady hand. "We have a center slated to open in Houston next year, as you might know. I'd be interested in hearing your ideas and thesis topic but I must dash now." She gives them both a peck on the cheek and is off.

Jared just stares at the card in his hand. "I mentioned it once, when we met. How did you… thank you, Jensen, I don't, you don't know what this means to me." His voice is thick with emotion.

"Hey, Jared." He touches his fingers to Jared's jaw. "I've known her for years. Just thought y'all might hit it off and I was right. So, I may have let it slip to mama that I needed to remember to invite her to the wedding, and then I just let the goblins in Mama's head do the rest."

He gives Jensen a wicked look. "I'm telling her you said that." 

An arm links through his. "Tell who what?"

"Nothing, Mama," Jensen says, giving Jared a stern look. "Nothing at all."

Donna Ackles shakes her head and once again leads them off through the forest of people. "Jared, dear," she says, patting his arm, "I hope you don't mind but I thought you might find it easier to introduce JR to your parents in private."

Jared casts Jensen a wide eyed look reconsidering his earlier thoughts about his parents. He isn't ready and doesn't think he ever will be. Jensen squeezes his hand.

"Thanks, Mama. It will be."

Donna stops in front of a set of closed doors and leans up to peck Jared on the cheek. "I'm no fool, sugar." She gives Jensen a fond smile before her warm eyes again find Jared. "I know there's more to the separation with your folks then JR said. But we are a very public family and that means you will be as well." She waves off his attempts to speak. "Yes, JR has managed so far but marriage is different, public and all this would have been so much worse if I hadn't herded all the cattle where I wanted 'em."

She gives him a pointed look. "I have an inkling what the trouble is and if you leave that room," she waves to the doors behind her, "still in the same mind as when you go in, well, we wash our hands of them and move on."

Jared smiles and pulls her into a hug. "You're kind of amazing, Mrs. Ackles."

"Phhfft," she huffs out. "If I have to tell you to call me 'Donna' one more time, I'll tan your hide."

Jared nods, letting her go. "Yes, ma'am," he says automatically.

Jensen laughs but one look from his mother has him covering it with a cough. She pecks his cheek and walks off, leaving them staring at the doors.

Jensen tilts his head, giving Jared an inquiring look. Jared takes a deep breath and nods. Jensen steps up and opens both doors, pushing them in and stands by the left one, waiting for Jared.

Jared's parents rise from their chairs in unison and he walks through the doors, turning as he and Jensen each close one, meeting in the middle. Jensen takes his hand, squeezes it and whispers, "All up to you."

Jared smiles. "Thank you," he whispers back.

He feels his parents' eyes on him, and lets Jensen pull him forward.

Gerald Padalecki steps forward hand out. "Mr. Ackles, I'm Gerald, Jared's father. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Jensen clasps his hand in a firm handshake, and nods.

"And this," Gerald indicates his wife, "is my wife, Sherry."

"Ma'am," Jensen says, before touching Jared's arm. "And this is Jared, the son you disowned. Now we're all caught up."

Everyone's eyes snap to Jensen and Jared sees a cold hard look on Jensen's face. And holy shit, he feels desire for Jensen race down his spine and settle between his legs. So screwed, so very, very screwed. His parents' reaction is very different.

His mother's indignant cry is covered by his father's shout. "Now just a damned minute," he begins.

Jensen is having none of it. "No." He takes Jared's hand. "Sit with me?"

Jared thinks that's an amazing idea. Moving to get the blood flowing to _all_ parts of his body. Although, glancing at his father's stormy face cooled things off fairly quickly.

Clutching Jensen's hand, he speaks for the first time. "Why? What makes me worth your attention now? I'm still not going to take over the firm."

His parents exchange a quick look and sink back down into their chairs. 

Jared keeps a tight hold on Jensen's hand. That simple touch keeps him grounded. 

His parents deliberate absence still hurts like an open wound, but it's healing.

"Jared," his mother starts, hesitant, "it isn't what you think. We didn't come to upset you. Mrs. Ackles contacted us." She shakes her head and shot out of her chair, crossing to sit on the ottoman in front of Jared. "Baby, I've wanted to call you so many times. But how could I after what we'd said?"

Tears prick his eyes and he wants so much to accept it, believe it. "Why should I trust you?" He glances sharply at his stiff silent father. "Does he feel the same?"

His mother doesn't look away from him. "He does. It's hard for him, Jared. For all of us."

Jared's jaw clenches. "It's hard for you? Do you know I spent five days homeless? And you're telling me this has been hard for you?"

He mother looks horrified, but Jensen is furious. " _You what?_ "

Jared drops his head. "I was sleeping on the floor of Chad's dorm room. Had to sneak in so the Floor Monitor didn't know. He roommate was cool about it." He tilts his head, smiling at Jensen. "Was kinda scared but then I met you and my whole life change."

Jensen's mouth is a tight hard line. "You never told me that."

Jared shrugs. "No point. We'd only just met and, well…," he trails off uncomfortable talking about this with his parents there. Even if it is his fault for bringing it up. He can't do this, he thought he could but he can't. He's getting angry all over again and reliving those horrible days. 

Jensen brushes his shoulder against Jared's.

"Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki I don't think Jared's ready for this. My mother wasn't in possession of the facts when she contacted y'all." He stands, resting a hand on Jared's shoulder. "When Jared is ready, he'll call you but until then, I think we need to let this be."

Jared can't even look at his parents and he doesn't say anything as he hears his mother's tearful goodbye. He hears the doors close but all he focuses on is the large, warm hand on his shoulder.

[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/18576/18576_original.jpg)

_"Ryan Hilton's back."_

Jensen is instantly awake and rolls over, grabbing his glasses off the nightstand. "Time's it, Chris?"

_"Five a.m., dude and you're getting married this afternoon in Austin, so book it unless you want to wait to finish this."_

Jensen is scrambling out of bed. "No, everything is down in the lab now. Give me five to get dressed. I'll call if I need you."

_"Later, brother."_

He dresses quickly, snagging his flash drive out of the wall safe in his bedroom as he runs to the private elevator. Jensen owns the building. A forty-two floor residential/commercial affair. His research lab takes up three of the lower twelve commercial levels and shares the rest of that space with other technological and robotics related corporations. It is very lucrative. As are the residential spaces. Large multi-level apartments and Jensen's is the top two floors in addition to a garden and terrace on the roof. Jared had taken this revelation in stride much to Jensen's surprise. His ability to be shocked had lessened considerably by this point apparently.

He punches in his code and bounces his leg as the elevator descends. He pulls out his keycard when the doors open and swipes it through the electronic lock in front of him. The doors open and he races down the halls to his private office.

He boots up his computer and slides the flash drive into place and calls Chris.

_"Yo."_

"Hey, I'm loggin on now. Is he in the house yet?"

_"Should be there any minute. His flight landed an hour ago. Called you to time it just about right. Grooms need their beauty sleep."_

Jensen grins in spite of himself. Light flickers across the monitor and Jensen's heart rate kicks up. "So does the best man. But there isn't enough beauty sleep in the world to make your ugly ass look good."

Chris snorts in response and Jensen taps the work table nervously. "Come on, come on."

_"See him yet?"_

"Got lights coming on. I know he'll hit this computer first, he always does. Likes looking at all his dirty pictures, fucking asshole."

_"Yeah, look, I gotta run, man. The band is flying in in about an hour and I have to pick them up and get 'em squared away."_

More lights come on. He's getting closer. "Yeah. See ya in a few hours."

_"Good luck today, Jen, with all of it."_ He hangs up before Jensen can say anything else.

The lights come on in the room Jensen's watching followed by a tall dark skinned man with a repellant smile. Every time Jensen sees him he gets chills. This man is eerie and Jensen can't wait to see him dead. He doesn't wait long.

The man mutters something in Spanish but Jensen isn't paying attention to what he's saying, only what he's doing. Jensen gives him a few moments to really settle in and start searching his folders. The man on his monitor grins widely and Jensen shivers, pressing the 'k' key hard.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/16433/16433_original.jpg)

As always the reaction is instant, the man seizes up, tips out of his chair as convulsions wrack his body so strongly his back twists unnaturally. The man manages to grab his cell phone but it slides right back out of his now slack unmoving hand.

His wide dead eyes bore into Jensen's through the monitor and Jensen only has seconds to stare back before the man's computer sparks and the screen goes blank. 

Jensen slowly pulls his flash drive and tucks it in his pocket. Today is going to be a great day.

Jared thinks he must spend half his life pacing on one floor or another. Today, he's pacing the marble entry of the governor's mansion.

"Dude, stop, he'll be here."

Jared stops long enough to give Chad a 'shut the hell up' look that Chad ignores.

"I'm telling you, the labrat got stuck on one of his projects. Josh said his flight already landed and that he's on the way."

"I know," Jared sighs, tugging at his grey striped ascot. He feels ridiculous in his grey tail coat and grey striped vest. He has a top hat for god's sake.

Chad snorts. "You look like something I'd see on BBCAmerica, man."

"Shut-up, asshole." Jared tugs at his vest and wished he were in a simple suit like Chad. For some reason only he and Jensen have to look something out of Jane Austen.

The place around him is buzzing with activity, most of the guests are here and no one seems surprised that Jensen is late. Chris had just patted Jared's shoulder and said 'get used to it' before heading off to hug Danneel. And even though Jared doesn't swing that way, watching her move in a silky floor length emerald green dress that defies gravity around her chest, he's honestly reconsidering. She'd already shot Chad down six times today and he still won't take the hint.

The front doors open behind him drawing his attention. Any thoughts of women dissipate when Jensen walks through. 

Jared is wrong, so wrong. Jensen looks exquisite. The cut of the coat, the fit of the pants, even the damned top hat - _which he's wearing_ \- looks perfect on him.

Jensen seems similarly affected and they stare at each other from across the room. Jensen gives him a small smile that snaps Jared out of his daze as Jensen walks towards him.

"You look wonderful, Jared," he says softly.

Jared smiles back. "So do you."

Jensen pops off his hat muttering, "I hate this fucking thing," and runs a hand through his hair. He signals a waiter and takes Jared's hat and his own and hands them over to him. "Burn these for us okay?"

The waiter's mouth twitches but he takes the hats and leaves.

Jared laughs silently. "You're gonna be in trouble," he sing-songs.

Jensen gives him a rueful look. "I always am." He runs a nervous finger along the inside of his collar. "Are you sure, Jared? I mean, I know we altered the contract and you can terminate at any time but I don't want you to feel – " 

Jared cuts him off by pressing his fingers to those plush lips. "I told you. I, I like you, I really do and no matter what happens down the line, I wanna do this, with you."

Jensen wraps his hand around Jared's fingers and presses a tender kiss to his fingertips and Jared feels that small contact like a flame.

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/19838/19838_original.jpg)   


"Gentlemen, they’re ready," comes the quiet interruption and they both look up to see all the people gone, doors closed and a white satin carpet laid down in the great hall, running through the open French doors and out into the garden, where they see Chris and Chad standing, waiting on either side of the minster.

Jensen offers his arm and Jared links his through and they walk down the aisle together.

The rest is a blur. Jared knows the minister is talking, that Jensen is talking, that _he_ is talking but none of it reaches him. His entire being is filled with the presence of the man next to him, the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. When Jared says 'I do', he means it with every fiber of his being and when Jensen says it back, his eyes are so intense Jared wonders if maybe, just maybe, he means it to.

Then Jensen is slipping a cool heavy titanium band on his finger and Jared's vision blurs because Jensen is pulling him close, touching their lips together softly once, twice and the third time his tongue licks at Jared's teeth before pulling back, but his hand stays on on the back of Jared's neck.

He jumps as birdseed and rose petals fill the air all around them and people are clapping and cheering but all he sees his Jensen's smile and the rings on their fingers as they walk back down the aisle.

 

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/18704/18704_original.jpg)

 

Ryan Hilton was a serious cluster-fuck. His murder made international news and has been the primary news story for the past ten days. Jensen doesn't know how things went so fucking wrong.

He raises bloodshot eyes to see Chris and Danneel looking back at him. "There's no way, no way this could have happened."

Chris snaps. "His birth was never registered in Mexico. They just smuggled him across the border as a baby. At least that's what his attention seeking, crying birth mother is saying all over the fucking news!" He flies out of his chair and grabs Jensen by his shirt dragging him up 'til they're nose to nose. "You should have fucking checked, Jensen. Jesus what the hell is wrong with you that you don't pick up that that asshole was the brother of a goddamned Mexican _drug lord_!"

There had been no way to know. Jensen could only find the one birth certificate because it truly was the only one. He hadn't fucked up and he is seriously pissed at the accusation. Jensen growls and slaps Chris' hands away and backs up. "I did my fucking research. Parents, siblings, what his favorite food was as a kid!" He can feel Chris' fear like a living thing. "I did, I swear," he says, desperate to calm Chris. "I had no way of knowing that his birth certificate was fake! There was no way to find that out. There are fucking pictures of Amanda Hilton pregnant for fuck's sake."

Chris is having none of it. "Yeah, well, turns out Amanda Hilton was _paid_ for that and to raise the son of a bitch. Jesus, Jensen, this is a huge fucking problem."

Jensen's vision goes read around the edges. "Don't you think I know that?"

Chris is about to go off again when Danneel silences both of them. "Enough, both of you. The why doesn’t matter anymore." She walks over to them. "Jensen, this guy has placed a five million dollar finder's fee on the killer. He's got resources the Feds can't touch. You. Are. In. Danger." She punctuates each word with a poke to his arm.

There isn't much he can say because he honestly doesn't know what to do but he knows he needs the people he loves to be safe. "I need to call Jared. I don't know what I'll tell him, but he needs to know there's a risk." 

Danneel nods and Chris storms out of the room muttering under his breath. They both watch him go. "He's worried about you, Jen. That's all."

He sinks down onto the chair behind him, all the fight gone out of him. "I know." He doesn't have the chance to say anything else before his cell phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out and stiffens when he sees Jared's name flashing on the screen. They've only been married for ten days. Jared still hasn't gotten all his stuff to Jensen's place yet. They'd settled Jared in the largest guest room, which was across the hall from Jensen's and so far, life has been comfortable. He enjoys having Jared there. He rubs his wedding ring, wishing he knew how to ask Jared if he might want to sleep in Jensen's bed instead. This he knows will destroy that hope.

He connects the call, waving off Danneel as he mouths Jared's name and walks over to the window.

"Hey, Jared. I was just about to call you."

_"Jensen Ackles. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."_

Jensen's blood freezes the instant he hears the thickly accented voice. "Oh god," he whispers.

The man laughs. _"No, señor. God has no place here."_

Jensen slides down the wall completely unaware that Danneel and Chris are now standing looking down at him. "Where is he?"

_"He is safe. A picture will follow to assure you of that. Once you get it, call the number he's holding up. We will talk in thirty minutes."_

Jensen grips his phone, pain and fear washing his entire body and crawling out of his throat in a wrenching scream.

Jared wakes with a pounding head and cramped limbs. His mouth is dry and his throat is raw when he tries to swallow and he can't move his hands. He blinks his eyes repeatedly, trying to clear his blurred vision but the effort fails so he closes them again. His mind crawls through a miasma of stilted recollections. Walking to class, a woman screaming for help, the alley, a car, men – then pain and darkness. He can't make it coalesce into any sort of comprehensive understanding as to why he's laying curled on his side on a cold, damp concrete floor. He blinks his eyes again and his vision swims but this time the room comes into focus.

An adrenaline spike gets his brain and body firing. "Oh, shit," he croaks out, eyes wide, skittering from the hooks and chains hanging from the ceiling, to the tables and saws and cleavers. His breathing kicks up dramatically and he tries to sit up but his hands are tied behind his back and his stomach lurches the moment he moves his head. That's when he notices the smell. Rotting meat and blood. He swallows down bile as he forces his body into a sitting position, back pressed against the wall behind him. 

Carcasses. Some whole, some already hacked into. _Slaughterhouse, I'm in a slaughterhouse._ "This is a mistake, a really bad fucking mistake," he says, dazed, terrified, "has to be. Can't be real. This is a really clichéd mob movie or a really bad acid trip. Not that I take drugs but I'll start if it'll make this shit go away," he's rambling, shaking and so fucking scared he can barely breathe from it.

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/20988/20988_original.jpg)   


"Mistake, not me," he keeps muttering while his eyes sweep the gruesome sight around him. His breath is coming in short gasps and he's in danger of passing out. "Slow down, Jared, deep breath in," he pauses, drawing in a shaky deep breath and holding it for a second then releasing it, "and out." He repeats it twice, closing his eyes to shut out the sights around him. 

"No fucking good's gonna come outta this, man, no one ties you up and brings you to a slaughterhouse filled with fucking saws and cleavers for your benefit." His eyes snap open. "Cleavers." He touches his fingers to the rope binding his wrists.

He scrambles to his knees but freezes when he hears the creak and drag of a metal bolt being pushed back. He shrinks back against the wall and tries desperately to stop his limbs from shaking. It's a futile effort.

Three dark skinned men in white linen suits walk into the room; one of them is carrying three chairs, which are placed directly in front of Jared in a neat row. He swallows hard.

  
[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/21142/21142_original.jpg)   


The men sit and Jared can see guns under their jackets. 

He's heard people see their lives flash in moments like this, moments where you see death coming for you. All he sees, however, are these men and this room and he wants to scream at the injustice that he can't even force himself to see the face of the man he _wants_ to have as his last vision, his last thought, his last hope.

He draws his knees up and drops his head to rest on them. He'd rather see darkness.

" _Señor_ Padalecki, I am Miguel Sandoval. I hope you'll forgive our _interrupción_ of your day."

The man's voice has a heavy Spanish accent but his nonchalant tone sends frissons up and down Jared's spine. He doesn't move, doesn't speak.

"We have no intention of harming you, beyond your current injuries," the man adds.

Jared looks up at that and Miguel, the one in the middle, the one with the gold tooth and oily smile almost hidden beneath a handlebar mustache, watches him like a shark scenting prey. He flicks his gaze to the men sitting on either side of the man, both look bored. 

"Why am I here?" he rasps out. 

Miguel sits back, his smile growing. "Ah, you are the bait, _señor_. The bait to catch the _pescado_ , ah that is to say fish, catch the big fish."

Jared shakes his head shocked that this situation can get more surreal then it already was. "I don't know what you're talking about." He glances between all three men, settling back on Miguel. "You've got the wrong person, please, I'm telling you, this is a mistake," he's begging, he knows he is but whatever terror he felt at the beginning has magnified tenfold.

Miguel props his ankle up across his opposite knee, and taps his white leather shoe absently. "I am never wrong. It took us _tiempo_ – time," he enunciates the word slowly before repeating it. "Yes, time to find him. I would think such a careful man would protect his _amado_ with the same zeal." He tweaks the slick edge of his mustache. "Perhaps you are not the _amor_ you think to be, yes?"

Everything stops. Shock rushes in swiftly chased by a new and devastating fear. "Jensen," he whispers. "You… you're after Jensen." 

Miguel laughs, obviously please. " _Sí, señor_. That is our fish."

Jared's mind is racing. "Ransom? Is that what this is?" Honestly it's the only thing that makes any sense. 

"No, I have no need of money. I want his miserable hide bleeding on one of these hooks."

Jared's eyes widen at the pure venom in the man's voice. Fear for Jensen pushes away any thought of self-preservation and he sits up straighter. 

The two men flanking Miguel stand in response but Jared doesn't flinch or take his eyes off Miguel. "Leave Jensen alone. You have me. I'll pay whatever, however, just leave him alone."

Miguel leans forward his black eyes searching Jared's face intently. " _Mi dios_. You do not know."

Jared looks back just as intently. "Know what?" It's so soft he's not sure he said it out loud.

He must have because Miguel pulls his chair forward and grabs Jared by the back of the neck. He squeezes hard enough to bring tears to Jared's eyes. "He is a murderer."

Jared tries, he really does but he can't stop the laugh that rushes from his throat. It's just too ridiculous and he is so fucked because this man is completely crazy. 

Miguel doesn't seem offended, merely amused and his grip on Jared relaxes. "You have heard of the serial killer Shock Doc, yes?"

"Yes," he draws out the word, still confused. Everyone has heard of him or her. Murder by computer. Jared hadn't touched his laptop for three weeks after the second murder. But then officials found the man had a type. Convicted rapists released on technicalities. People were horrified at _how_ the Shock Doc killed but not all that concerned about _who_. No one could figure out how someone could hack – his train of thought derailed in spectacular fashion. Highly educated, extremely advanced hacker. "No," he denies, looking Miguel in the eye. "No. He can't be."

Miguel releases him and sits back in his chair. "Oh, but he is and he made a fatal mistake."

Jared isn't comprehending very well because that happens once you step through the looking glass but he latches onto the only word that sinks in. "Fatal?"

" _Sí._ Killing my brother. That will prove fatal for him." He stands and wipes at his suit before nodding to his men. _"Desatar sus manos y darle la tarjeta. Tomar la fotografía. Poner las esposas a él después."_

_"Sí, el jefe_ ," the man to his right responds as Jared frantically runs through his high school Spanish to pick out the words: hands, photo and cuffs. He's still running it over when the men reach for him and drag him to his feet.

Jensen is typing frantically. His flash drive is hooked up to the computer at his lab and he's using every trick he knows to hack into the FBI main database. He knows he only has minutes to access the information he needs on Miguel Sandoval. "Almost there." He hits the last keystroke and there it is, all collected data known about Miguel, including properties, known and suspected, in the Houston area. They took Jared before anyone knew it and had contacted Jensen within four hours of it happening, and since they took Jared from near downtown during rush hour, he knows they have to still be in the area. Besides, Miguel wants Jensen; he'll be close until he gets him. After that, Jensen knows things will change and he'll be hauled over the border faster than he can blink. And he'll go willingly if it keeps Jared safe. But everything in him is telling him that won't happen. If Jared is with Miguel, then he's seen him. And can identify him. Something no one has ever been willing to do. And live at any rate.

His alarm goes off and he looks over at the other monitor. Someone is attempting to trace him but they're too late. He's already sent the spike and closed his backdoor. He watches the trace signal flare out before he shuts down this computer and pulls the flash drive. He rolls his chair over to another computer, boots it up and pops in the flash drive. Jensen carefully places his cell phone on the workspace next to the computer and hooks it in. He'll trace the call just in case Miguel has gone stupid but he already knows it'll be a disposable, which is untraceable.

"It's only been twenty minutes, Jen."

He jumps, startled. He'd been so intent on what he was doing, he'd forgotten Danni and Chris were there. "I know, Chris. Just the idea of him getting hurt because a me… I can't take that. I can't lose someone else that I lo–," he clamps his mouth shut on the word. "I can't lose someone else."

Slender arms encircle his shoulders. "You won't." She kisses his cheek and reads over his shoulder. "How will you know? There are dozens of places." 

Chris slides over two pills and a glass of water. Jensen raises an eyebrow in response.

"Just take the damn things or you'll have a killer of a headache in an hour or two and you know it."

Jensen smirks but takes the pills while Chris is pulling up a chair next to him, checking out the list as well.

Jensen pushes up his glasses and points out a dance club on Westheimer. "Too public. We can cancel out all the clubs and diners and I think… purely residential areas as well."

Chris side eyes him. "Why?"

Jensen shrugs, still scrolling. "Again, not private enough. I don't think he'll want me to meet him at the place he's taken Jared. He'll want to meet me at an airfield or near one. Quick exit to Mexico so he can hack me to pieces at his leisure," he adds drolly.

Danni slaps him. "Don't you fucking laugh at this, Jenny. I'm so damned sick of you seeing your life as expendable." She's angry, really angry.

He doesn't say anything just nods and looks at locations, knowing his time is running out. He's down to the last few minutes when he sees one that makes his blood freeze. "A slaughterhouse." Jensen quickly loads a satellite image. "See? It's on DeSoto Street. Highest crime rate in the city, half the houses, businesses and apartments are abandoned and it's," he pauses, pulling up the address information, "been shut down for three years but has active utilities being currently paid. It's right up against Highland Park and just for good measure dead ends at White Oak Bayou, too. Easy access for them to carry someone in and out without being seen. Well, at least by anyone that cares." He knows he's risking Jared's life on an educated guess but it's all he's got right now.

Chris whistles. "Damn, Jenny. That's murder central in Houston. How the hell you plannin' to get in there?"

Jensen takes off his glasses and pulls Danneel to stand next to Chris and faces his friends. "I'm not. I can't. I have to go where he wants me."

He sees the stark understanding in both their eyes. It's Jared or him and for Jensen, there is no choice. His phone vibrates and a text message flashes. 

His heart is in his throat as he opens the media message and can't help the involuntary sigh of relief at seeing a slightly bruised but otherwise whole Jared. He touches the image briefly and whispers, "I'm so sorry," before switching to the dialpad and calling the number Jared was holding.

Miguel picks up on the first ring. _"You are very prompt."_

Jensen doesn't waste time. He motions for Chris and Danni to leave him alone and they reluctantly leave the room but watch him through the glass windows. He turns his back to them. "Let me talk to him, please." He has to know if Jared is with Miguel. He has to.

_"Jensen?"_

It's Jared's voice. He sounds scared and tired and alive and Jensen wants to cry. "Yeah, it's me. And I'm so fucking sorry, Jay. Never wanted you to get hurt. Never."

_"It's true, then. That you… that you killed people."_

"Yes," he says simply. He doesn't need Jared to forgive him, he'll be dead soon anyway. All he needs is to say one thing before he dies. "I love you, Jared. I think I have from the moment I met you." His vision blurs with unshed tears and his voice is raw with emotion. "I love you."

_"I love you, too, Jen,"_ Jared whispers back. _"But this is, I dunno."_

Before either of them can say anything else, Miguel is back. 

_"I'll text you coordinates. Be there in an hour or su amante is dead."_

The call is disconnected and a text immediately comes through. He types in the coordinates. It's a heliport on Twelfth Street. It'll take him forty minutes to get there. He hears Danni and Chris come back in and clears the screen, erases the data, pulls his flash drive and tosses it in the industrial shredder and watches as it crumbles to scraps. _His lover_ , Miguel called him. The irony of the term isn't lost on Jensen. He loves Jared with all his heart but they've never crossed the line to physical love.

"It's a private airfield off the Beltway," he lies easily, "take me about forty to get there." They'd follow if they knew, and no one else it getting hurt because of him. He turns to them. "And I only have an hour." He snags his jacket off the back of the chair punching in numbers as he goes. Even if Josh can get someone to Jared there's no guarantee it will be within the hour. Jensen can stall once he gets to the meet, but not going isn't an option. 

_"JR, what's up, bro?"_

Jensen feels like crying at the sound of his brother's voice. "I'm in big trouble and I need a favor, Governor."

_"Anything, man, you know that."_

He walks out of the building, Chris and Danni trailing behind him and he stops, turning to look back at his life's work one last time. "I need a team with sharpshooters. It's Jared, Josh, he's in trouble because of me and maybe you want to route this through channels that can't be traced to you."

Jared swallows thickly. It feels like hours since he talked to Jensen. He has no way of knowing how much time has passed. Miguel and his men have been on the other side of the open door making various calls.

Jared shifts on the floor and stretches out his legs. His ass has gone numb and his hands are throbbing under the cuffs. He looks up at the dirty ceiling and hears Jensen's voice on repeat. Jensen loves him. Jensen's a murderer. Jensen lied to him. Jensen loves him.

He's pulled out of his mind loop when Miguel crouches in front of him. "Time for me to leave you. I do not wish to keep Jensen waiting."

Jared is past fear and dread and all that's left is a numbing awareness. "So, they stay and kill me once you have Jensen." He doesn't ask, he already knows.

Miguel stands. "It is unfortunate," he agrees. He mumbles something to his men that Jared can't hear, not that it matters now. He blows Jared a kiss and is gone moments later. The door slams shut behind him and the bolt slides into place.

Jared closes his eyes and blocks out everything around him. If he's going to die he wants something beautiful to think on. He sees Jensen's face, his smile, those fucking freckles and wishes more than anything that he'd been able to see what Jensen's face looks like when he comes. Wishes he'd had a chance to taste his skin, make him moan and beg. So many things he regrets. But he can't think clearly anymore. He's so emotionally drained he can't keep his eyes open and before he knows it, he's sliding into sleep.

It's seems he was only asleep for seconds before he is jolted awake by the sounds of gunfire. Panic flares to life and he pushes his back into the wall and walks his feet backward until he's standing. He looks around wildly but there's nowhere to go and the gunfire is getting louder. Something slams into the door and Jared jerks back, sliding along the wall, to the corner of the room.

Everything goes silent. His heartbeat is thrumming in his ears and he crouches low as the bolt slides back.

Four men all in black carrying semiautomatic weapons file into the room. When they see Jared they lower their weapons and one of them removes his headgear. 

"Mr. Padalecki, I'm Captain Tanner, Special Forces. You're safe."

Jared slides down the wall, tears falling unheeded. "Jensen. Where's Jensen?"

Captain Tanner doesn't answer his question. "We need to get you out of here and to a secure area. I want medical to look you over as well."

Jared nods, listless. He doesn't need an answer. Even if he doesn't know where Jensen is, he knows who he's with. And that is so much worse.

Jensen's been waiting just outside the perimeter of the location for eight minutes. It's all he can spare. He'd hoped to hear that Josh had Jared and that he was safe but that hasn't happened. He'll need the remaining four minutes to get inside, although he's certain once he crosses the fence line, he'll be escorted. He gives it another minute and then he turns off his phone and throws it into the grass with the rest of his things. He won't need them anymore where he's going.

He hopes eventually his family can forgive the things he's done, and maybe even understand why he did them. And more than anything, he prays to a god he's not sure exists that his family keeps Jared close. He's left everything to Jared, so his future is secure. With that thought, he crosses to the gravel path that leads to the fence. A motion light comes on and shadowed figures come out to meet him.

Hands grab at him and he's slammed face first into the fence as he's checked for weapons or devices. His jacket and shirt are stripped from him and his skin prickles in the cool night air. His hands are wrenched behind his back and he hears the zip as he's bound with zipties while another man turns out his pants pockets before he reaches down and pulls the shoes off of Jensen's feet. They were taking no chances. 

He's yanked forward and the sharp gravel bites into the soles of his feet as he's pulled along to the main gate where a jeep is waiting to take them to the helipad.

Jensen is shoved into the back seat for the short trip and he sees a group of men standing next to the waiting helicopter. One is wearing a white suit, gesticulating wildly, while talking on his phone and Jensen just knows that's Miguel. 

The jeep stops and he's dragged out. Miguel roars and throws his phone to the concrete, ignoring the sound it makes as it shatters. His expression is murderous as he marches over to Jensen and slams his fist into Jensen's face with enough force to knock Jensen to his knees.

" _Bastardo_!" He kicks Jensen in the ribs. "What did you do to my men?" He kicks him again and Jensen is down on his side, spitting blood out of his mouth.

He coughs, and feels sharp pains shooting across his ribs and chest. But none of it matters, when he dies here, it won't matter because Jared is safe. He wants to cry from the relief of it. "What men?" He coughs, choking on his own blood. "I thought this was about your rapist asshole of a brother?" he asks.

Miguel snarls, spins around and stalks off to a pile twisted metal at the edge of the pad. He yanks a long round metal pipe out and walks back, barely contained fury making his breathing loud, harsh. 

Jensen does his best to brace for the blow but when the pipe slams down across his back it steals his breath. When it slams into him again, he hears bones break and his vision goes black for several moments. 

"You killed my brother. A life for a life." Jensen hears the intent behind the words and knows he won't be getting on that helicopter now. He hears the swish as the pipe comes down again and again and again. He blacks out after the fifth swing and prays he never wakes up.

Jared jolts awake at the sound of a chair sliding on the floor.

"Easy, son," Chris says.

Jared stiffens momentarily before he remembers. Hospital, right. He sits up as he remembers Jensen is here, too. "Any news?" He manages with his sleep rusty voice.

Chris drags the chair closer to the bed "Nah, he's still in surgery."

Jared pulls the hospital blanket tighter around his shoulders. "His family here yet?" He thinks he's asked that before, maybe.

"Folks are here already and Josh is flying in from Austin as we speak." Chris looks over at him. "You okay, Jared?"

Jared huffs out a laugh and rubs his eyes. "No." He feels normal this time, sleepy, tired but not drugged out from sedatives. He gives Chris a critical look. "You knew, didn't you? About Jensen?"

Chris runs a hand through his hair. "Hell, son, I helped him."

"Of course you did." He looks out at the hospital grounds laid out just beyond the windows. "What are you telling his parents about this?"

Chris sighs. "That's up to Josh. He's already got people doing shit and cleaning up and such. Think it's gonna play as ransom gone wrong."

Jared nods and is about to doze off again when he jerks back. "Miguel, did I ask about him already?" He really can't remember. He'd been sedated when he reached the hospital and woken up in a room with Chad sitting by his bed telling him where he was and that Jensen was on a med-evac heading here in critical condition. Even that hadn't been able to keep him awake.

When he woke up again, Danneel was there, the next time Chad and now Chris. He looks at the pole next to his bed and there's no IV anymore. "Wait, can you get me coffee. I wanna remember all this."

Chris nods and slips out the room. While he's gone Jared slides out of bed and makes a beeline to the overnight bag he sees sitting on the window shelf. Clothes, his wallet, watch and cell. "Thank you, Chad," he mutters as he drags the bag to the bathroom.

He takes a quick shower and then shaves. His reflection is a bit disturbing. A nasty gash to his right temple and bruising all around it as well as around his throat. His wrists are no better, looking raw after he'd pulled the bandages to take his shower. He's fairly certain he'll be in trouble for that. He dresses quickly and feels almost normal when he comes out and finds Chris sitting there waiting for him with two cups of steaming coffee.

He sits on the bed and takes a careful sip. "Mmmm, god, I need this," he says. He takes a few longer sips and finally feels ready. "Jensen and Miguel. What happened?"

Chris sits back and kicks his feet up on the bed. "I knew Jen would never let us go with him. Didn't want no one else gettin' hurt." He sips his coffee. "Being the techy bastard that he is, he's always designing shit for people. Like mini RSD tags. I may have slipped one into one of the pills I gave him before he left."

Jared grins, he can't help it. "He'll be pissed when he finds out what you did."

Chris flashes a grin back. "I sure as hell hope so. Anyway, everything had to wait until the MiBs had you."

Jared's eyebrows shoot up. "Who the hell were those guys?"

"Jenny called Josh. Some elite forces team based outta Houston. Not sure who they answer to though." He rolls his shoulders. "Anyway once they had the all clear, I gave them Jensen's location and they went in. Miguel and his thugs are dead. But damn that son of a bitch took his pound of flesh outta Jensen."

Jared can't think about that now, he just can't. "So Josh knows now or did he know before?"

"Course he didn't know." Chris looks absolutely mortified. "He's the damned governor." He sighs. "Does now though. Jen gave him the run down. Wasn't hidin' nothin' that would put you at risk again."

Jared looks down at his hands. "Why. What made it okay to kill people? And you? You helped? I know what these men were but, how could you?"

Chris doesn't flinch. "Jenny needed my help. Ain't never gonna say no to that boy. He had his reasons." He holds out a hand to stop Jared's protest. "Not saying anything justifies murder, but he had his reasons."

The reason hits Jared like a ton of bricks. "Jules."

Chris gives him a sad smile. "Jenny told you? Yeah, it does. We read about it happening to someone else and Jen just kinda snapped. Said it wasn't right, he couldn't let it go. None of these assholes were innocent, Jared."

Jared sets his coffee cup down on the rolling table. "I don't think I can forgive and forget here. I don't think I can get past this."

Chris doesn't look surprised. "I know. I was hoping you'd at least come to the waiting room with me. They got a private waiting room for people like the Ackles, keeps 'em away from prying eyes and ears. Everyone's worried about you."

Jared chews on his lower lip.

"And like I said, his folks don't know," Chris adds softly.

Jared presses his lips tight. "So, I need to go play the grieving husband to keep the parents from knowing their son is a murderer? Is that it?" He's having a difficult time reconciling his terror that Jensen might die next to his abject loathing for a man that has _killed_ almost a dozen men. A man he's married to and a man he loves more than his own life. 

"If not for Jensen, do it for them." Chris doesn't even look at him. "Not saying pretend or anything, just go see them, let them see that you're alright. They woulda come down here but they don't wanna leave in case the surgeon comes."

Jared flops back on the bed. He likes the Ackles, he genuinely does and they must be terrified right now. He won't add to that. "I'll go." He hits the call button.

_"Yes?"_

"Yeah, sorry, I took a shower and um, took the gauze off my wrists. Think they need to be wrapped and can the doctor come release me?"

_"We have your release papers. The nurse will bring them when she comes to see about your wrists."_

"Thank you." He sits up. "Where's Chad?"

Chris stands and walks to the door. "He'll be back in a few. He went to get something to eat. He knows where everyone is. He can take you there when you're ready."

Jared nods but doesn't say anything else. He just can't seem to muster up anything right now. Not anger, fear, concern. He's empty.

When the nurse comes in he signs what she puts in front of him and lets her wrap his wrists again.

Chad slams through the door and Jared and the nurse jump. 

"He's come out of it, Jay. Surgeon just came back. He's in bad shape but he's gonna make it."

The tears Jared couldn't find earlier break free and he's shaking from them. The nurse let's go of his bandaged wrist and pats his shoulder, leaving quietly.

Chad is next to him in a second, pulling him into a one armed hug. 

Jensen's going to live.

 

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/kinkyheels/29673478/19319/19319_original.jpg)

**Fourteen months later**

Jared is sitting at the same table he sat at the first time he met Jensen. It feels odd to be meeting here. He absently twists the wedding ring on his finger. He's never taken it off, even after he moved out ten months ago. He just can't bring himself to do it.

When Jensen had been released from the hospital, he'd had a long road to recovery. Broken clavicle, shattered left arm, fractured hip, broken ribs and various internal injuries including a punctured lung. He still gets shivers remembering how frail Jensen had looked lying there, hooked up to so many tubes, Jared had been afraid to touch him.

Jared checks his watch. In ten minutes Jensen will be late and Jared expects it.

After everything, they've still never talked about it. Jensen's tried multiple times but Jared just could never manage it. He let it fester and grow until it became so much that he couldn't breathe around it.

The Shock Doc had gone dormant. No murders in almost two years. Pundits posited that he'd died but none were any closer to putting a name to the killer. Part of Jared was relieved but another part wasn't so easily swayed.

His phone chirps and he looks down to read the text and smiles fondly. Jensen will be late. He sets the phone down but his head jerks up as someone sits down across from him.

"Hey Jared," Jensen says, holding up his phone. "Figured I might as well, old time's sake and all that."

Jared rolls his eyes.

Jensen looks good, too good. Completely healed and healthy once again. "You look good, Jen."

"Thanks. I finished my last round of physical therapy a month ago, so I'm finally free from the clutches of doctors."

Jared nods. "How are things? I mean, Josh?"

Jensen stiffens. "He's dealing. He knew about Jules. How he died. Trying to get past it, like you. But like you, it's not working too well so far." He gives Jared a searching look.

"I tried for a long time, Jen, I just couldn't." Jared looks away; he hates the confusion inside him. Love warring with loathing.

Jensen isn't surprised. "I know. Not why I wanted to meet anyway."

That surprises Jared. "Why, then?"

"I'm leaving. I've been offered a fellowship in Geneva, Switzerland. It's a great opportunity and a chance to let people get on with their lives." He shrugs, looking off into the distance. "I know you said you were done, but I wanted you to know, in case, that is well, I'll file for divorce before I go, if that's what you want."

Jared's world tips over. "Switzerland? I thought you liked your lab and… divorce?"

Jensen leans forward. "I don't want one, Jay, I'm not saying that. But I don't want to keep you tied when you don't wanna be."

Jared shakes his head. He didn't expect this, he doesn't want this and that makes no fucking sense. "When, when would you go?"

Jensen twists his own wedding ring. "I've told them I'll give them my answer today, so that means I'd leave in four days."

Jared's head snaps up. "Four days? Isn't that fast?"

Jensen sinks back in his chair. "No reason to stay any longer. I can get everything I need over there," he says quietly.

"What about Donna and Alan? What do they say?" He wants to drag out this conversation. Make it last a lifetime and he doesn't even understand why when a few minutes ago, he just wanted it over.

Jensen seems just as confused but goes along. "They want me to get on with my life. They know there's more to things than the official kidnapping story." He laughs harshly. "My husband left me, my brother barely speaks to me and my two closest friends are taking a break from me. So, yeah, they know something bad happened."

Anger flushes across Jared's face. "Chris and Danneel? I thought – they left you? You've been alone all this time?"

Jensen shrugs. "My folks were around, of course, but Chris and Danni, they needed to step back. They have things to deal with, too."

He says it easily but Jared can see how much Jensen's is hurting.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I never would have walked away if I thought they'd go."

Jensen's eyes fly to his. "Don't do that. That's not on you."

Jared bites his lip. "What happened with Josh?"

Jensen sighs. "I had to tell him, I needed people to get you out safely and Josh could make that happen." He looks away. "Told him everything about me," his eyes are empty as he looks back at Jared. "Didn't say anything about us, how we met, I mean. Didn't want you any more involved than you were."

"And he didn't take it well." Jared doesn't ask, he knows.

Jensen's laugh is harsh. "Not every day you hear your brother killed people via computer."

There's nothing Jared can say to that. He fiddles with his phone and wonders why he feels so angry on Jensen's behalf when he left him like everyone else did. And for the same reasons.

"Congratulations on your internship with Lane, by the way. She called me to say she has big plans for you."

Jensen's wearing that soft smile Jared loves so much and it cuts at his heart.

"Thanks. I've only been there six months. I have so much to learn. My professors were impressed when I got the placement." He can't keep the pride out of his voice. "I've pretty much delved into school, taking extra classes to finish early. At the rate I'm going I should be able to start my post doc work six months sooner than planned." He doesn't add that this was all thanks to Jensen's money. Those words will stick in his throat if he tries to say them.

Jensen nods and runs his fingers over the back of Jared's hand. "I'm glad you're getting your dream, Jared." He pulls away, checking his phone. "Anyway, I don't wanna keep you. Just let me know what you want." He stands. "It was good to see you one more time, Jared."

Jared feels tears sting his eyes and his throat closes up. "I don't want this, Jen. I don't want us to end this way."

Jensen walks over to him and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. "I love you, so much. Maybe one day, that'll matter to you again."

Jared stands up so fast the chair falls to the ground. "I'd give everything I have to hate you," he snarls walking away as fast as he can before a stunned Jensen can so much as move.

He doesn’t get far before his anger bleeds into exhaustion and he wanders into the park, finds a bench and calls Chad.

_"So, how'd it go?"_

"Did you know about Chris and Danneel?" he accuses.

_"Yeah. It's fucked up, man. Not like they got a right to be pissed at him when they helped but when it was all over, they kinda freaked, like it was real, ya know? What they did."_

"He had no one, Chad." It devastates him to know that, it shouldn't but it does.

_"What else did he say?"_

It takes Jared two tries to get the words out and they still hurt when he says them. "He wants a divorce, Chad."

Chad is silent for so long Jared wonders if he hung up.

_"Does he want one or does he want you to have one?"_

Jared rests his elbows on his knees. "What's the fucking difference?"

_"The difference is he's doing it for you, not for him. That boy doesn't want a divorce, Jay."_

"I can't let it go, Chad, I can't." He doesn't have to clarify things, Chad knows.

_"Yeah, I get that. But ya need to ask yourself what it is you're so pissed about."_

Jared sits up. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

_"Nope. I know what he's done and yeah, some freaky-assed majorly fucked up shit, but I don't think that's what's got you so mad. No, I think you're scared."_

Jared clenches his hand around the phone. "And what the hell do I have to be scared about?"

_"Losing him."_

The shock value of those two words causes bile to rise in his throat and his heart to beat frantically. The words he's been holding in for months tumble out. "They could still find him, Chad, someone else could come after him, like Miguel did, I can't go through that again, I can't." His worst fear acknowledged.

He's thrown back to that slaughterhouse remembering how terrified he was that Jensen could already dead. He doesn't ever want to feel that again in his life.

_"Yeah, it could happen. Wish I could say otherwise but I can't."_ Chad's voice is surprisingly gentle. _"Don't wait for the bad, man. Try and enjoy the now. You're married to a dude that loves you, Jay, that's fucking hard to get. You've been miserable as hell and so has he. Decide what's important and go for it. Hate to cut you short but I got a date with a seriously hot piece, dude."_

Jared shakes his head, feeling calmer than he has since all this started. "You're such a romantic, bye, and thanks."

He sits there watching the wind rustle the leaves and ripple across the water. The sky is blue and the sun is bright.

Everything is perfect today because he saw Jensen.

In the end, there really is no decision.

He picks up his phone and texts as he walks hoping Jensen hasn't managed to get too far away yet. His phone chirps. Apparently not. He texts his location and waits. He's not sure what to say, how to explain the jumble of emotions inside him. He drops his head, starring at his hands and waits.

It's only about ten minutes before a shadow falls across him and someone sits next to him. He doesn't even look up.

"I don't want a divorce, Jensen. And it does matter to me, so much." He looks up to find Jensen sitting sideways on the bench facing him, brows drawn together in confusion.

"That you love me, it matters." He takes Jensen's hand, lacing their fingers together. "I can't hate you." It's barely a whisper.

Jensen's fingers clench around his. "Jay, fourteen months ago, you left and I get why, I do. But I spent most of that time in and out of hospitals, rehab, learning to walk again. I lost my brother and my closest friends. I picked up the phone to call you hundreds of times just to hear your damned voice but I didn't." He pulls his hand away, gazing off at the sky and Jared feels it like a punch in the heart.

Jensen runs a hand through his spiked hair. "Was it that easy to walk away?" He glances at Jared. "Will it be that easy next time? I know I have no right to be a dick about this, I'm the asshole here, but, it hurt, Jared. I can't fucking pretend it didn't. I know what I'm capable of, and watching you leave twice is something I just can't do." His eyes are bright with unshed tears.

Jared swallows hard. "It wasn't easy. I don't understand it all myself. I'm horrified by what you did and how often you did it, but part of me gets it," he says with a sigh. "When they told me you were gonna live, I was so grateful and relieved I could barely breathe." He looks down at his hands. "I just couldn't pretend I was okay because I wasn't. I had all this fucking fear crawling down my throat. I was so scared, Jen. Scared someone would be coming for you, another Miguel, the cops," he clamps his mouth shut and folds his arms around himself.

"I woke up every day looking to see if they have any new leads, if anyone tipped them off… I'd close my eyes and be back in that slaughterhouse, waiting to die. It was killing me and you weren't waking up, Jen, you weren't," he wipes a hand across his face and finds it wet. "I was in no shape to be around you or anyone."

He looks up to see Jensen watching him intently.

"Donna actually seemed to understand. Told me she understood. Said the stress can be too much sometimes. Told me to get out and take some time. They'd call if anything changed." He rubbed at his eyes. "She called two weeks later, but I never answered. I was too damned afraid to."

Jensen is pulling him forward and Jared's head falls to his shoulder and his arms wrap tightly around Jensen's waist.

"Jesus, Jay, I'm so sorry," he says fiercely. "My fault, all my fault." He pulls Jared close, his arms wrapping tight around Jared's shoulders. "I didn't know, Jay."

Jared just shakes his head because how the hell could he know when Jared can barely admit it to himself. "Don't leave, Jen."

"Not going anywhere, Jared, not going anywhere," he whispers into Jared's skin, pressing kisses of redemption along Jared's jaw and neck until he captures Jared's lips in a kiss that's salty from Jared's tears.

Jared feels everything fall away, clarity and honesty coming from lips touching his and a warm tongue sliding into his mouth. He feels the heat of it sluicing every part of him, settling low in his belly and hardening between his legs. "Want you, Jen, want you," he pants.

Jensen is breathing hard, clutching his back. "Yeah, hotel across the street; can't wait more than that."

Jared nods and presses another kiss to Jen's lips as he drags him off the bench.

They rush back to the street and race across in between traffic to the hotel on the other side. They push through the lobby and get an odd look when at reception when they check in and Jensen says they have no luggage.

Jensen's sliding the card off the desk when Jared grips his elbow and drags Jensen to the elevator. The instant the door closes, Jensen's lips crash into his, and Jared moans into his mouth, clutching at Jensen's waist for support.

  


The elevator pings and they manage to pull apart and stumble out and down the hallway to their room. Jared snatches the card key from Jensen and fumbles to get the damn card to work but finally the door opens and Jensen slams him into the wall next to it as the door closes.

"Fuck, Jen, yes," Jared pants, pulling at his shirt and hearing pings as buttons fall to the floor. His hand slides across Jensen's bare chest and he nibbles down the strong throat.

"Jay, lemme," he rasps out as his hands fumble with Jared's pants, sliding down the zipper. And then his hand is sliding down the inside of Jared's thigh and coming back up to rub hard against his balls and Jared's head slams back into the wall.

"Oh, fuck, Jen," he says, eyes rolling back as his hips rock and his hands grip Jensen's ass pulling him flush.

He's never been so hard in his life but he doesn't want to do this alone and he reaches for Jensen's zipper, just as Jensen gives his balls a good squeeze. Jared's legs almost fail him. He shoves Jensen away and pulls his tee over his head and pushes down his jeans and underwear while Jensen does the same.

Jensen's lips are back on his a second later and his arm wraps around Jared's waist and he pulls him along until Jensen's falling back on the bed and rolling them until he's settled between Jared's outstretched legs.

Sweat is already pooling at Jensen's lower back and Jared rubs his fingers along the slick skin before sliding his hand down Jensen's ass crack and rubbing over the furled opening there.

Jensen's reaction is instant. He bites at Jared's shoulder and rocks his hips down into Jared's and his hand slides between their slick bodies and wraps around both their cocks.

"Tighter, Jen," Jared pants, "more, need more."

He clutches at Jensen's ass pulling him closer when Jensen's hand tightens around him. Pre-cum is making the slide of cock against cock delicious and Jensen's mouth is biting down his chin.

Jared wraps a leg around Jensen's locking him in place as they rut against each other. Jensen flicks his thumb along the edge of Jared's dick and he's done.

His back arches and he's coming, Jensen's garbled name on his lips. Jensen thrusts against him two more times and he comes with his face buried in the curve of Jared's neck.

Jared wraps his arms around his husband, tears leaking from his eyes. "I love you, Jen. I love you," he stutters out.

Jensen rises to his elbows and pushes Jared's sweaty hair off his forehead. "I love you, too," he replies thickly.

"Don't go to Switzerland. Stay here, tell me about Jules, about Josh and help me figure out how to use my new computer." Jared offers, smiling.

Jensen leans down for a kiss. "You bought a computer?"

Jared shrugs and runs a hand along Jensen's jaw. "I may have missed you."

Jensen slips down and bites a nipple. Jared's reaction is electric and his cock twitches painfully. "Shit, Jen."

Jensen smiles against his skin and holds him tight. "I may have missed you, too."

Jared reaches for the edge of the quilt and pulls it over them as much as he can. They're both too tired to move. He grabs Jensen's left hand and rubs his fingers across the wedding ring he put there almost two years ago. "I'm not going anywhere this time," he whispers but Jensen's already asleep. Jared doesn't care because when he wakes up, Jared'll say it again.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> **So many to thank…**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> First and foremost without [](http://ephermeralk.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ephermeralk.livejournal.com/)**ephermeralk** and her unwavering help and support this fic would never have even happened. She read everything as I wrote it and came back with encouragement and demands for more. I love you to pieces and can't thank you enough.
> 
> [](http://alexisjane.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://alexisjane.livejournal.com/)**alexisjane** was my drill sergeant for those first few chapters and damn, she was demanding. And I worship every hair on her head for it. ;-)
> 
> My very dear [](http://po-thang.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://po-thang.livejournal.com/)**po_thang** answered my panicked and last minute (literally) call for a read through so I could submit my draft. You are awesome.
> 
> [](http://skeletncloset.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://skeletncloset.livejournal.com/)**skeletncloset** helped me rip it apart and get all those parts to make sense again. Thanks so much for taking the time and asking questions. Thanks so much, darlin'. *smooches*
> 
> [](http://somersault-j.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://somersault-j.livejournal.com/)**somersault_j** has been the final reader, so blame her for errors. *g* She was my cheerleader from day one and has remained so for the entire process. You are a sweetheart, my dear friend, and I thank you for pointing out all those pesky verb tense issues.
> 
> Thank you [](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://wendy.livejournal.com/)**wendy** for being so patient and helpful with all the issues I had and delivering quick fixes and mental support. You are awesome and I thank you for all you do.
> 
> And last but certainly not least my pinch hitter artist [](http://sau1412.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://sau1412.livejournal.com/)**sau1412** who has been so kind and eager and damned excited to deliver all this amazing art in such a short time frame. I am in awe of you and thank you so much for your terrific art. It's been great working with you.


End file.
